691 Hello Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine - Bloodsports For All

Chart  entered :  26  January  1991

Chart  peak : 48

Number  of  hits : 13

Here's  a  band  that  time's  forgotten. The  last  time  I  heard  them  was  at  The  Crown  Ground, home  of  Accrington  Stanley  FC,  a  few  years  ago  when  an  airing  of  their  version  of  Sinatra's "The  Impossible  Dream"  provoked  an  attack  on  the  unwisely  low  speakers  by  younger  members  of  the  Dale  following.

James  Morrison   ( guitar / vocals  )  and  Les  "Fruitbat"  Carter   ( bass )  were  originally  members  of  a  "shambling "  band  Jamie  Wednesday  who  released  a  couple  of  singles "Vote  For  Love "  and  "We  Three Kings  of  Orient  Are"  in  that  scene's  peak  year  of  1986.   Musically  they  sound  a  bit  like  The  Housemartins  with  Lindsey  Lowe's  trumpet  prominent  but  the  fly  in  the  ointment  is  James's  angry and  abrasive  reedy  snarl. On "Vote  For  Love" , James  starts  quoting  Martin  Luther  King's  "I  Have  A  Dream"  speech  in  splenetic  fashion, becoming  completely  decoupled  from  the  music  behind  him.

Carter  the  Unstoppable  Machine  emerged  in  1987 when  the  rest  of  the  band  pulled  out  of  a  charity  gig  at  the  London  Astoria   at  the  last  minute  leaving  James  and  Les  to  go  on  with  a  beatbox  and  backing  tapes. They  released  their  first  single  "A  Sheltered  Life"  in  1988  showcasing  their  new  sound  : punk  guitars, sequenced  bass, elementally  simple  synth  lines  and  drum  machines  with  James's   inimitable.  semi-rapped vocals  riding  on  top. The  song  was  told  from  the  point  of  view  of  a  straight  guy  who  never  indulged  in  risky  behaviour  but  devoid  of  any  melody  or  hooks  it  was  ignored. Their  second  single  "Sheriff  Fatman"  in  1989  was  a  protest  at  slum  landlords  in  London. The  notorious  Nicholas  van  Hoogstraten  is  referenced  in  the  lyrics  as  "Nicholas  van-what'shisface"  but  as  he's  not  noticeably  corpulent  the  main  target  may  have  been  an  associate. It  became  their  second  hit  on  reissue. The  band  developed  a  distinctive  live  show   performing  in  front  of   a  wall  of  white  lights  designed for  heat  more  than  illumination  creating  a  sweaty  moshpit  into  which  the  two  would  repeatedly  dive.

In  January  1990  they  released  their  first  album,  "101  Damnations" . In  one  sense , you  can  see  Carter  USM  (  as  they  were  often  abbreviated )  as   a  sort  of  politicised  Half  Man  Half  Biscuit. In  both  cases,  they  want  you  to  pay  attention  to  the  lyrics to  catch  all  the  pop  culture  references  which   in  Carter's  case  are  deployed   sarcastically  to  underline  that  the  injustices  they're  targeting  are  happening  right  under  our  nose  like  sink  estates  ( "Twenty  Four  Hours  From  Tulse  Hill" )  , an  atrocity  against  a  homeless  person ( "An  All  American  National  Sport ", the  standout  track ), violent  crime ( "The  Taking  of  Peckham  123" ), absent  fathers  ( "Good  Grief  Charlie  Brown" ) and  getting  mugged  (" Midnight  on  the  Murder  Mile" ) . Like  Sisters  of  Mercy, the  inflexible  beats  and  Marmite  vocals  can  make  them  indigestible  at  album  length  but  in  this  case  at  least  there's  enough   musical  variety  to  sustain  interest. The  album  didn't  chart  initially  but  reached  number  29  in  1991  when  reissued by  Chrysalis.

They  followed  it  in  June  1990 with  a  non-album  single  "Rubbish"  about  teenage  joy-riders. It  had  a  hook  of  sorts  with  the  line  "Rubbish  on  the  radio"  and  featured  a  John  Peel  sample  but  generally  it's  a  punk  thrash. It  became  their  fourth  hit  on  re-release  in  1992.

In  the  summer  they  signed  with  Rough  Trade  who  released  their  next  single  "Anytime  Anyplace  Anywhere"  in  October. For  younger  readers  the  title  was  derived  from  a  long-running  advertising  slogan  for  Martini  and  the  song  as  you  might  expect  deals  with  alcoholism. Until  the  abrasive  guitars  come  in  on  the  second  verse  there's  a  strong  Pet  Shop  Boys  feel   to  it  with  the  sequencer  pulse  and  big  dramatic  chords  which  eventually  overpower  the  guitars  at  the  end  of  the  song. It  came  close  to  charting.

They  were  then  signed  up  by  Chrysalis  who  released  "Bloodsport For  All "  just  ahead  of  the  next  album. Despite  the  opening  synth  riff  and  electronic  rhythms, it  has  a  more  glam  rock  feel  with  its  fat  guitars  and  terrace  chant  chorus. The  song  concerns  racism  in  the  army , outlining  the  misery  facing  any  black  guy  foolish  enough  to  enlist. Les  makes  his  vocal  debut  towards  the  end  when  the  music  drops  out  and  he  repeats  the  chorus  in  a  deadpan  tone  reminiscent  of  Terry  Hall. The  song  ends  with  another  nod  to  glam  , stealing  the  "Oh  Yeah"  refrain  from  Gary  Glitter's  Do  You  Wanna  Touch  Me, not, you  suspect,  a  choice  they'd  make  today.