562 Hello L.L. Cool J - I'm Bad

Chart  entered : 4  June  1987

Chart  peak : 71

Number  of  hits : 23


An  appropriate  title  in  more  ways  than  one  for  the  first  solo  rapper  to  make  the  cut.

James  Todd  Smith  was  born  in  Bay  Shore, New  York  in  1968. His  first  musical  influence  was  The  Treacherous  Three  from  the  Sugar  Hill  rap  stable. His  grandfather  bought  him  some  recording  equipment  and  James  started  making  demo  tapes  at  home  and  sending  them  out. He  chose  his  stage  name  ( short  for  Ladies  Love  Cool  James )  as  a  deliberate  move  away  from  the  prevalent  drug  culture  ( e.g  Kurtis  Blow ). In  1984  he  ran  into  Rick  Rubin  at  a  party  and  became  the  first  artist  on  the  Def  Jam  label.

His  first  single  was  the  12 inch  "I  Need  A  Beat"  co-written  with  Rubin  and  the  Beasties' Adam,  Horowitz. It's  a  beatbox  percussion  track  punctuated  by  scratching  noises  with  James   declaring  how  great  he  is   over  the  top . The  appeal  of  that sort  of  thing  is  always  going  to elude  me. It  didn't  make  the charts  but  sold  100,000  copies  and  along  with  the  Beasties'  Rock Hard , led  to  Def  Jam  getting  a  distribution  deal  from  Columbia.

J  set  about  making  his  first  album  "Radio"  trailed  by  the  single  "I Can't  Live  Without  My  Radio"  in  October  1985. It  sounds  pretty  much  identical  to  its  predecessor  except  the  drum  pattern's  a  bit  more  interesting  and  J  is  homaging  his  beatbox  rather  than  his  skills. It  got  him  on  Soul  Train   but  didn't  cross  over  to  the  main  chart.

As  the  first  album  released  on  Def  Jam  "Radio"  sticks  to  Rubin's  minimalist  blueprint  and  it's  a  hard  listen  for  anyone  wanting  melody  or  even  bass  lines. J  writes  with  more  wit  than  say  Run  DMC  but  it's  not  nearly  enough  to  compensate. Ladies  might   indeed  love  him  for  the  softer-edged  tracks  "I  Can  Give  You  More"  and  "I  Want   You"  but  it's  not  clear  if  he loves  them  back. "Dear  Yvette "  is  a  sustained  attack  on  a  supposed  slag  and  pretty  unpleasant. Hip  hop's  association  with  misogyny  begins  here. "You''ll  Rock"  and   "Rock  The  Bells "  were  released  as  further  singles,  helping  the  album  reach  number  46  in  the  US  charts ( number  71  in  the  UK ).

"I'm  Bad"  was  the  lead  single  for  his  next  album  "Bigger  And  Deffer" . It  marks  a  retreat  from  the  rhythmic  minimalism  of  his  debut  by  having  a  simple  bass  line  and  that   small  concession  seem  to  have  been  enough  to  make  it  his  first  minor  hit  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic. Otherwise  it's  business  as  usual  with  J  taking  a   wearing  16  verses  to  tell  you  how  great  he  is. I'm  presuming  there  was  a   radio  edit  that  lost  the  oedipal  compound  noun  in  the  second  verse.

561 Hello Hue and Cry - Labour of Love

Chart  entered : 13  June  1987

Chart  peak : 6

Number  of  hits : 10

There's  a  nice  irony  that  this  sibling  duo , the  textbook  example  of  a  "soulcialist  band"  , entered  the  charts  in  the  same  week  that  their  political  hopes  were  crushed  with  the  1987  election  delivering  another  landslide  victory  to  Margaret  Thatcher.

Hue  and  Cry  were  formed  in  Coatbridge  in  1983  by  brothers  Patrick  ( born  1964 )  and  Gregory  ( born  1966 ) . Greg  was  a  classically  trained  pianist  but  started  out  playing  saxophone  in  a  band  called  Valerie  and  the  Week  of  Wonders  who  released  two  very  obscure  singles  in  1983-4, neither  of  which  I've  heard.  Pat  was  in  a  synth  band  called  Rodeo  who  recorded  a  demo  with  Midge  Ure  that went  nowhere.

The  demarcation  in  Hue  and  Cry  was  clear. Greg  wrote  the  music  while  bookworm  Pat  was  the  lyricist  and  singer. Both  of  them  liked  Prince, Frank  Sinatra  and  Miles  Davis  but  gave  the  press  to  understand  that  otherwise  their  relationship  was  extremely  fractious. They  were  staunch  supporters  of  the  Labour  Party  but  weren't  high  profile  enough  to  get  on  the  Red  Wedge  tours.

In  1986  they  released  their  first  single  "Here  Comes  Everybody"  on  a  tiny  independent  label. Again , I've  never  heard  it  but  someone  from  Virgin  subsidiary  Circa  did  and  signed  the  band  to  the  label.

Their  first  single  for  Circa  was  "I  Refuse" , the  only  record  of  theirs  in  my  collection.  Pat's  lyrics  instructing  a  young  woman  and  then  an  army  recruit to  reject  their  predetermined  roles  are  set  to  a  tight  jazz  funk  tune  with  an  excellent  funky  bass  line  and  embellished  with  strings  from  Sinatra  arranger  Jimmy  Biondolillo. Pat  delivers  a  very  assured  vocal  sounding  like  a  more  soulful  version  of  Level  42's  Mark  King. What  I  don't  like  about  the  record  is  the  loose  jazzy  middle  eight  where  the  tune  disappears  and  that  might  be  the  reason  it  didn't  succeed  although  a  re-mixed  version  reached  number  47  in  1988.

"Labour  of  Love"  was  the  follow  up. Although  constructed  on  similar  lines ,  it's  more  brash  and  funky  and  less  tuneful  than  its  predecessor  with  Pat  working  hard  to  cram  in  his  lines  comparing  backing  out  of  a  relationship  to  going  on  strike. I  didn't  like  it  but  my  view  was  perhaps  a  bit  coloured  by  reading  interviews  with  Pat. I  didn't  take  to  being  lectured  about  socialism  by  a  man  in  a  designer  suit  who  advocated  shoplifting  in  Smash  Hits. Listening  to  it  again  away  from  all  that  nonsense  I  think  it's  aged  pretty  well.

560 Hello Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over

Chart  entered  :  6  June  1987

Chart  peak :  25

Number  of  hits  : 15

This  was  an  early  hit  for  one  of  my  favourite  groups  of  the  nineties.

Crowded  House  were  something  of  a  successor  band  to  New  Zealand's  Split  Enz.  They  had  been  formed  at  Auckland  University  in  1972 . They  are  best  described  as  art  rock  with  elements  of  glam, music  hall, rock  and  pop  in  their  music   presented  with  a  garish  theatricality. The  band  had  weird  haircuts ,  lavish  make-up   and  wore  bizarre  colour-coded  suits.  This  was  the  province  of  their  art  director  Noel  Crombie  but  he  also  appeared  on  stage  with  them  despite  not  being  able  to  play  anything  bar  a  couple  of  spoons, a  prototype  Bez  if  you  like. They  released  their  first  album  "Mental  Notes"  in  1975  which  was  only  released  in  the  Antipodes  but  it  was  a  hit  in  both  Australia  and  New  Zealand. It  attracted  the  attention  of  Roxy  Music  guitarist  Phil  Manzanera  who  brought  them  over  to  London  to  record  the  second  album  "Second  Thoughts"  though  it  contained  four  tracks  re-recorded  from  the  debut. Despite  Manzanera's  involvement  and  some  press  interest  the  album  failed  to  chart  in  the  UK.

Up  to  that  point  the  band  had  been  led  by  twin  front  men   Tim  Finn  and  Phil  Judd  but  they  found  it  increasingly  difficult  to  work  together  and  there  was  a  major,  er,  split  in  the  band  in  1977  with  Judd  and  two  others  departing. One  of  the  replacements  was  Tim  Finn's   younger  brother  Neil   who  joined  as  guitarist  and  took  the  image  of  a  dissolute  public  schoolboy. The  next  album  "Dizrythmia"  was  pretty  much  already  written  so  Neil  had  no  songwriting  credits  on  it  and  it's  hard  to  spot  any  influence  he  might  have  had  on  the  record. It's  a  rewarding  listen  but  few  of  the  tracks   have  immediate  appeal  bar  the  pre-Madness  music  hall  romp  of  the  single  "My  Mistake".  "Crosswords"  directly  references  the  situation  with   Judd  - "We're  still  friends  but  we're  still  fighting"  and  is  strikingly  followed  by   the  macabre  "Charlie"  a  morning  after  lament  from  someone  who's  just  killed  his  mate.
The  album  outperformed  its  predecessors  in  Oz and  NZ  but  there  was  still  no  international  breakthrough  and  the  band   parted  company  with  their  UK  label  Chrysalis.

Their  history  becomes  a  bit  confusing  now. They  recorded  a  series  of  demos  in  a  small  studio  in  Luton  early  in  1978  which  became  known  as  "The  Rootin'  Tootin'  Luton  Tapes". 28  songs  were  recorded  in  total.  Neil  wrote  three  songs  and  co-wrote  two  others  with  Tim.  Later  in  the  year  the  band  went  to  Manor  Studios  and  re-recorded  some  of  the  songs  for  their  second  album  "Frenzy"  which  was  released  in  the  Antipodes  only. The  band  were  not  happy  with  the  results,  blaming  co-producer  Mallory  Earl  for  its  woolly  sound  and  it  did  not  match  the  performance  of  "Dizrythmia"  in  the  charts. Two  years  later  keyboard  player    Eddie  Rayner  re-mixed  the  album  and  dropped  three  of  the  tracks  in  favour  of  other  songs    from  the  Luton  sessions  including  the  awesome  "Semi-Detatched.  In  the  UK  it  was  given  away  alongside  their  1982  album  "Time  And  Tide. That's  the  version  of  Frenzy  reviewed  on  my  albums  blog  here .

By  the  time  of  their  next  album   in  1980  they  had  new  deals  with  Chrysalis  in  the  USA  and  A &  M  in  Europe. "True  Colours "  saw  the  band  embrace  the  new  wave  on  most  songs  with  two  synth-led  instrumentals  among  the  eleven  tracks. The  album  was  a  major  commercial  breakthrough  largely  due  to  the  global  hit  single  "I  Need  You", one  of  three  tracks  written  by  Neil. This  examination  of  an  unhealthily  possessive  relationship is  masterfully  constructed with  the  sinister  uncoiling  of  the   verses  giving  way  to  an  explosive  pop  chorus.  It  reached  number  12  in   the  UK  after  being  championed  by  Simon  Bates. It's  equalled  by  Tim's  "Nobody  Takes  Me  Seriously"  ( the  flop  follow-up  in  the  UK  ) an  anthem  of  Everyman  self-pity   given  extra  potency  by  his  squeaky  tenor. The  other  tracks  don't  quite  reach  those  heights  but  it's  a  very  solid  album  which  made  the  Top  40  in  both  the  UK  and  US.

Their  next  album  "Waiata"  in  1981 ,where  they  moved  in  a  synth-pop  direction,  is , I  think, their  strongest  set  of  songs  although  it  failed  to  chart  in  the  UK. Neil  got  the  lion's  share  of  the  singles  with  the  Beatles-influenced  "History  Never  Repeats"  becoming  a  minor  hit  in  the  UK,   largely  due  to  its  still-impressive  laser  etching. However  some  of  Tim's  songs  like  "Hard  Act  To  Follow"  and  "Ghost  Girl"  are  every  bit  as  good.

You  can  find  my  review  of  the  next  album  "Time  And  Tide"  on  the  same  link  above.  After  that  Tim  did  a  solo  album  with  songs  that  he  felt  didn't  fit  the  Enz  mould. The  album  "Escapade"  and  single  "Fraction  Too  Much  Friction"  did  much  better  ( in  the  Antipodes )  than  he  expected  . He  also  acquired  an  impressive  new  girlfriend  in  UK  actress  Greta  Scacchi   and  so  came  to  the  next  Enz  album  "Conflicting  Emotions"  in  a  somewhat  distracted  frame  of  mind. It's  the  first  album  on  which  Neil  wrote  the  majority  of  the  songs. It's  a  decent  song  collection  but  conspicuously  short  on  real  magic. Neither  single , the  lacklustre  funk  workout  "Strait  Old  Line"  or  the  bland  pop  of  "Message  To  My  Girl"  which  could  fit  neatly  on  any  Crowded  House  album, shines  and  it  was  their  first  album  of  the  eighties  not  to  top  the  charts  in  Oz  and  NZ.

Though  he'd  filled  the  stool  adequately  enough  on  the  previous  album , Crombie  had  no  real  desire  to  be  the  band's  drummer  and  hardly  played  on  the  LP  which  employed  drum  machines  or  ex-Beach  Boy  Ricky  Fataar  instead. The  band  decided  a  new  drummer  was  needed  for  the  tour  and  engaged  Paul  Hester , a  24 year  old  veteran  of  various  Melbourne    bands  including  Deckchairs  Overboard. They  were  a  new  wave  pop  act  who  enjoyed  some  minor  chart  success  in  Australia . Paul  co-wrote  their  first  three  singles,  on  the  evidence  of  which  they  were  useless,  despite  having  a  very  attractive  female  bassist / singer. Paul  quit  them  in  1983.  

Not  long  after  the  tour  was  completed  , to  no  one's  surprise,  Tim  Finn  announced  that  he  was  leaving  and  moving  to  England  with  Scacchi,  leaving  Neil  to  inherit  the  band. After  reviewing  the situation ,  Neil  unilaterally  decided  that  the  band  was  not  viable  without  Tim  and  announced  that  their  next  album  would  be  their  last.  To  make  matters  worse,  Neil  only  had  an  EP's  worth  of  material  written  for  the  album  so  the  other  members  were  requested to  throw  in  one  song  each  to  make  up  the  required length. "See  Ya  Round" ( 1984 )  isn't  entirely  worthless. Although  the  lead  single,  "I  Walk  Away" , is  bland  and  forgettable  , the  follow-up  "One  Mouth  Is  Fed"  shows  that  their  talent  for  throwing  in  the  unexpected  hadn't  entirely  deserted  them  with  a  big  male  voice  choir  refrain  where  you  least  expect  it. Neil's  collaboration  with keyboard  player   Eddie  Rayner  , "Years  Go  By"  is  another  good  track  but  the  songs  from  the  others  only  prove  they  should  have  left  it  at  an  EP. Crombie's  "Ninnie  Knees  Up"  is  three  minutes  of  my  life  I'll  never  get  back.

Tim  agreed  to  come  back  for  the  final   Enz  With  A  Bang   tour . During  the  tour  Neil  met  bass  player  Nick  Seymour   who  had  been  in  a  number  of  Melbourne  bands  most  notably  avant-garde  outfit  Plays  With  Marionettes. He  was  invited  to  audition  for  the  new  band  Neil  was  starting  with  Paul  and  passed.

The  new  band  was  initially  called  The  Mullanes  and  originally  featured  another  guitarist  who  quit  when  the  band  re-located  to  Los  Angeles  to  record  their  debut  album  for  Capitol  records. The  label  didn't  like  the  folk-ish  name  of  the  band  so  they  came  up  with  Crowded  House  referring  to  their  cramped  living  quarters. At  some  point  Eddie  Rayner  was  invited  to  join  the  band  but  he  declined  due  to  family  commitments. Producer  Michell  Froom  played  keyboards  on  the  album  instead.

Their  debut  album  "Crowded  House"  was  released  in  June  1986. The  singles  were  released  in  a  different  order  in  different  territories   but  it  started  with  the  opening  track  "Mean  To  Me"  being  released  in  Australia  a  fortnight  before  the  LP. A  shaggy  dog  story  with  Neil  as  a  decent  guy  trying  to  escape  his  involvement  with  a  nightmare  date   it's  a  slice  of  brash  guitar  pop  driven  by  Paul's  hard  drumming  and  the  Heart  Attack  Horns. It  was  followed  in  October  by  the  bland  Monkees-pop  of  "Now  We're  Getting  Somewhere"  which  features  session  musicians  as  the  rhythm  section  in  place  of  Nick  and  Paul. At  the  same  time  "World  Where  You  Live"  was  released  as  the  first  single  in  the  UK.  A  slightly  more  interesting tune  about  the  impossibility  of  knowing  what's  going  on  in  someone  else's  mind,  it  suffers  from  the  lack  of  a  strong  hook  and  the  over-prominence  of  Paul's  bass  drum, a  sign  of  the  times  unfortunately. It  later  reached  number  65  in  America.

"Don't  Dream  It's  Over"  followed  in  Oz  in   October  1986  and   opened  their  US  account  the  following  January.  An  instant , much-covered  ( despite  some  very  specific  lyrics  about  Neil's  car  breaking  down  during  a  re-location )  the  song  glides  along  on  a  melodic  bassline  with  clipped  rhythm  guitar  and  woozy  Hammond  organ  ( which  sounds  like  it's  going  to  break  into  A  Whiter  Shade  of  Pale  at  one  or  two  points  )  from  Froom. It's  topped  by  one  of  Neil's  best  plaintive  vocals  before  the  rest  of  the  lads  come  in   for  that  killer  chorus. Even  without  the  motivational  words,   the  track  generates  a  tremendous  warmth  that   has  attracted  covers  like  flies  starting  with  Paul  Young's  redundant  cover  that  somehow  managed  to  get  higher  than  the  original  in  the  UK. In  the  US  it  reached  number  2  in  April  1987  and  on  the  back  of  that  started  to  climb  the  charts  here  too.  



  

559 Goodbye Herb Alpert - Diamonds

Chart  entered  : 6  June  1987

Chart  peak : 27

We  bid  farewell  to  another  sixties  survivor  here.

Herb  never  became  a  chart  regular in  the  sixties  although  two  of  his  singles  reached  number  3, "Spanish  Flea"  in  1965  and  "This  Guy's  In  Love  With  You"  four  years  later  on  which  he  revealed  an  unexpected  vocal  talent.  Shorty  afterwards  he  disbanded  his  group  The  Tijuana  Brass  as  the  burgeoning  success  of  A &  M  , the  label  he  founded  with  Jerry  Moss  in  1962  , made  more  demands  on  his  time. Although  he  periodically  re-formed  the  band,  he  had  little  success  as  a  recording  artist  in  the  seventies  until  his  jazz-funk  instrumental  "Rise"  made  number  one  in  the  US  and  number  13  here  in  1979. Now  operating  in  the  R &  B  market  Herb  continued  to  have  hits  in  the  US  which  were  largely  ignored  here. In  1986  he  invited  producers  of  the  moment  Jam  and  Lewis  to  collaborate  on  his  next  album. Although  they  were  only  involved  in  four  of  the  10  tracks,  Herb's  shrewd  business  sense  ensured  that  three  of  those  songs  were  released  as  singles. The  first  "Keep  Your  Eye  On  Me"  became  his  first  UK  hit  for  seven  years  reaching  number  19.

"Diamonds"  was  the  follow  up  single. Herb's  artist  credit  seems  like  a  bit  of  a  liberty  as   Jam  and  Lewis  wrote  and  produced  the  track  and  star  clients  Lisa  Keith  and  Janet  Jackson  sing  this  ode  to  eighties  materialism. It  sounds  like  a  close  cousin  to  What  Have  You  Done  For  Me  Lately  ?  although  less  brutalist. In   part  that  is  down  to  Herb's  contribution, filling  out  the  spaces  with  inventive  trumpet  parts  that  don't  sound  bolted  on  as  an  afterthought. It's  not  my  cup  of  tea  but  it  is  an  effective  single.

Two  more  singles  were  taken  from  the  album . "Making  Love  In  The  Rain"  is  the  Jam  and  Lewis  ballad   ( as  in  Human  and  Let's  Wait  Awhile )  with  Keith  doing  the  lead  vocal  and  Jackson  on  backing  vocals. It  was  Herb's  last  hit  single  in  the  US  reaching  number  35  but  didn't  do  anything  over  here.  "Our  Song" , which  had  no  involvement  from  the  aforementioned  pair,  is  a  slow  jazzy  instrumental  with  a  passage  which  closely  resembles  Billy  Ocean's  Suddenly.

The  following  year  Herb  switched  to  Latin  jazz  on  the  short-ish  ( 33  minutes )  and  largely  instrumental   LP  "Under  A  Spanish  Moon".  The  single  " I  Need  You"  is  an  attractive  jazz  funk  tune  and  there's  a  pleasant  if  unnecessary  smooch  through  Sting's "Fragile"  but  otherwise  it's  strictly  for  the  cognoscenti.

In  1989  he  released  the  fusion  LP  "My  Abstract  Heart"  which  is  less  forbidding  than  the  title  suggests. There's  only  one  vocal  track  "When  The  Lights  Go  Down  Low"  ( on  which  his  singing  is  atrocious ) ; the  rest  are  instrumentals  which  range  from  meandering  jazz  workouts  to  pleasant  background  music. The  single  "3 O  Clock  Jump"  uses  rock  guitar  and  drums   to  emphasise  its  sinister  growl  but  the  tune's  nothing  to  write  home  about.

Two  years  later  he  released  "North  on  South  Street"  which  utilised  contemporary  dance  rhythms  from  hip  hop  to  Soul  II  Soul  shuffle  beats  but  put  them  to  the  service  of  some  great  tunes. The  title  track  was  released  as  the  first  single  followed  by  "Jump  Street"  although  this  latter  release  was  marred   by  adding  an  amateur-ish   rap  from  Yvonne  De  La  Vega." Paradise  25"  remains  the  best  track  on  the  LP.

1992  saw  the  release  of   "Midnight  Sun",  a  snoozy   collection  of  jazz  standards  (" Someone To  Watch  Over  Me","I've  Grown  Accustomed  To  Her  Face"  etc )  from  which  no  singles  were  taken.

Herb's  recording  career  was  then  put  on  hold  due  to  litigation. In  1987  he  and  Jerry  had  sold  A &  M  to  Polygram  with  all  sorts  of  caveats  that  they  would  be  able  to  preserve  the  culture  and  integrity  of  the  label. By  1993  they  felt  that  these  had  not  been  honoured  and  went  to  court. They  were  eventually  paid  off  in  an  out  of  court  settlement  and   set  up  a  new  label,  Almo  Sounds,  to  carry  on  the  tradition.

Herb's  first  album  on  Almo  was  1996's  "Second  Wind".  Assisted  by  keyboardist  Jeff  Lorber, Herb  meanders between  smooth  jazz  and  light  funk  but  it's  all  pretty  torpid. 1997's  "Passion Dance"  has  a  more  obviously  Latin   flavour  but  is  fairly  muzak-y. The  track  "Beba"  which was  released  as  a  single  is  no  exception. Two  years  later  he released  "Colors"  in  collaboration  with  Living  Color's  rhythm  section  and  there  are  some contemporary  dance  rhythms  once  more,  including  drum  and  bass  on  "Dorita". It's  a sprightlier affair  than  its  immediate  predecessors.

It  was  however  to  be  the  last  album  of  new  material  from  Herb  for  over  a  decade. In  2000  he  acquired  the  rights  to  his  back  catalogue  from  Universal  Music in  a  legal  settlement. Almo  Sounds  was   put  on  ice  as  Herb  started  remastering  his  old  hits  for  CD  reissue. The  Shout!  Factory  label  bought  the  rights  to  release  the  cream  of  the  crop ( i.e  his  sixties  mega-sellers  and  "Rise" ). In  the  meantime  Herb  was  an  active  philanthropist  giving  $30.000,000  to  set  up  the  Herb  Alpert  School  of  Music  at  the  University  of  California.

In  2008  Herb  accompanied  his  wife, jazz  singer  Lani  Hall  on  tour  and  a  live  album  of  the  pair  tackling  standards, "Anything  Goes"  was  released  in  2009.  The  following  year  he  had  a  sculpture  exhibition  Herb  Alpert  : Black  Totems  in  Beverley  Hills.  In  2011  He  and  Hall  out  out  another  album  "I  Feel  You  "   which  followed  the  same  formula  except  it  was  recorded  in  the  studio.

In  2013   he  put  out  "Steppin  Out", something  of  a  hotch  potch  with  a  few  more  standards  recorded  with  Hall  ( credited  as  the  album's  producer ) , some  new  smooth  jazz  compositions   and  re-workings  of  some  Tijuana  Brass  numbers.  It  won  a  Grammy  for  Best  Pop   Instrumental  Album  which  doesn't  say  much  for  the  competition .  He  also  had  another   art exhibition   that  year, this  time  in  Santa  Monica.

Herb  turned  80  in  March  2015   but  six  months  later  released  another  album, "Come  Fly  With  Me". The  single  "Night  Ride"  has  some  Latin  vim  and  there's  some  attempt  at  sonic  experimentation  with  electronic  percussion  and   even  reggae  rhythms   on  a  couple  of  tracks    but  otherwise  it's  another  exercise  in  soporific  smooth  jazz.

Just  three  weeks  ago,  Herb  released  another  LP  "Human  Nature"  on  which  he  dabbles  in electronic  dance  rhythms. The   title  track  is  an  uncomfortable  cover  of  the  Michael  Jackson song. It's  a  short  album  of  9  tracks  lasting  30  minutes but  it  runs  out  of  steam  well  before the  last  track.

    

558 Hello Poison - Talk Dirty To Me

Chart  entered : 23  May  1987

Chart  peak : 67

Number  of  hits :  10

In  the  mid-eighties  heavy  metal  fractured  into  sub-genres. At  one  end  you  had  the  serious-minded  exponents  of  thrash  metal; at  the  other  end  you  had  bands  that  made  radio-friendly  singles  and  had  photogenic  lead  singers,  soon  attracting  the  pejorative  name  of  "hair  metal" although  fans  preferred  glam  metal". These  guys  are  generally  regarded  as  the  epitome  of  the  bands  who  came  under  that  bracket.

Poison  were  formed  in  the  town  of  Mechanicsberg  ( sounds  like  something  out  of  Cars ) in  Pennsylvania  in  1983. Vocalist  Bret  Michaels  ( originally  Bret Michael  Sychak, born  1963 ) , drummer  Ricki  Rockett  ( originally  Richard  Ream , born 1961 ) and  bassist  Bobby  Dall   ( originally  Robert  Kuykendall, born  1963 )  had  been  playing  in  garage  bands  together  since  their  teens. With  guitarist  Matt  Smith  they  founded  Paris  and  played  the  clubs  as  a  covers  act. They  then  took  the  decision  to  decamp  to  L.A.  but  there  was  no  immediate  change  in  their  fortunes.  In  1985  Smith's  girlfriend  became  pregnant  and  he  decided  it  was  time  to  quit  the  band  and  return  home. The  band  held  auditions  for  his  replacement  and  eventually  chose  CC  DeVille  ( originally  Bruce  Johannesson  1962  )  over  an  English-born  guitarist  who'll  feature  here  soon  enough. CC  was  originally  from  New  York  but  had  move  to  LA  in  1981 and  been  in  a  string  of  local  bands  before  joining  Poison.

The  following  year  they  got  a  record  deal  with  Enigma. They  released  their  first  album  "Look  What  The  Cat  Dragged  In"  in  August  1986  with  "Cry  Tough"  as  the  first  single  a  few  days  later. The  group  took  their  visual  inspiration  from  American  glam  and  look  like  a  truncated  New  York  Dolls  on  the  sleeve  but  "Cry  Tough"  has  little  hint  of  sexual  ambiguity  or  menace. Instead  it  suggests  a  Reagan-esque  misreading  of  Springsteen  with  a  first  verse  about  a  gang  dreaming  of  better  things  leading  into  a  cliched  stream  of  platitudes  about  making  it  if  you  really  want  to. Anchored  to  the  drum  pattern  from  Be  My  Baby  ,it  also  has  a  pretty  lame  chorus  and  never  gets  out  of  second  gear.

It  wasn't  a  hit  and  the  album  sold  very  slowly at  first. However  support  slots  with  other  acts  at  the  glam  end  of  the  spectrum  such  as  Quiet  Riot   and  press  support  turned  it  into  a  hit. In  the  UK  they  were  signed  to  the  label  Music  For  Nations  and  "Talk  Dirty  For  Me"  the  second  single  in  the  US  , was  their  first  UK  release.

"Talk  Dirty  To  Me"  is  an  improvement  on  its  predecessor  if  only  for  abandoning  its  pretense  at  interest  in  social  issues. As  the  title  suggests , it's  a  celebration  of  furtive  teen  nookie   aimed  squarely  at  the  MTV-watching  audience. C.C.  re-purposes  the  Something  Else  riff   to  drive  the  song  and  the  chorus  this  time  round  has  a  decent  tune. It  is  of  course  entirely  vacuous  but  that  didn't  bother  the  viewing  hordes  who  placed  it  at  number  9  in  the  Billboard  charts. Given  that  Poison  hadn't   yet  played  in  the  UK ,  I'm  guessing  that  it  was  exposure  on  Jonathan  King's  Entertainment  USA   that   propelled  this  into  our  charts.

557 Goodbye Toyah - Echo Beach

Chart entered : 25 April 1987

Chart  peak : 54

After  her  breakthrough year  in  1981 , Toyah's  commercial  decline  was  quite  rapid  and  she  never  made  the  Top  20  again. Toyah  the  group  were  dissolved  at  the  end  of  1983  but  she  was  able  to  get  a  solo  deal  with  Portrait  and  scored  a  couple  of  hits  from  her  1985  album  "Minx". In  1986  she  stunned  the  music  world  by  marrying  prog-rock  guitarist  and  egghead  Robert  Fripp ; perhaps  the  punk  priestess had  been  a  closet  hippy  all  along ?

I've  been  dreading  this  one  coming  round. Martha  and  the  Muffins'  Echo  Beach   is  one  of   my  favourite  records  of  all  time  , the  absolute  apogee  of  the  late  seventies  new  wave  sound. Toyah  ritually  murders  it  by  turning  it  into  a  synthpop  dirge  with  a  robotic,  but  still  off-key vocal,  that  makes  her  sound  like  a  female  Max  Headroom. Producer  Mike  Hedges  either passed  out  with  the  phasing  button  still  on  or  he's  using  it  as  a  deliberate  distraction technique. You  suspect  that  Toyah  wearing  skimpier  clothing  than  hitherto  had  the  same purpose. This  is  one  of  the  worst  covers  of  all  time  and  anyone  who  bought  it  needs  their head  examining.

The  follow  up  single  "Moonlight  Dancing", a  boring  four  minutes  worth  of  synth  throb  that doesn't  go  anywhere , didn't  chart. Neither  did  the  parent  album "Desire".  With  the  failure  of  a "pop"  album , Toyah   decided  to  take  an  experimental  route  with  her  next  one. 1988's "Prositute"  is  a    feminist  concept  album  without  gaps  between  the  tracks  and  eschewing verse chorus  structures. There  are  vague  echoes  of  Kate  Bush, Laurie  Anderson, The  The  , Peter Gabriel  and  other   artists  well  out  of  her  league  but  it's  uninteresting  self-indulgence  from someone  taking  themselves   far  too  seriously.

With  her  stage  career  unaffected  by  her  declining  musical  fortunes , Toyah's  recordings became more  obscure in  the  nineties. Her  next  album  "Ophelia's  Shadow" made  with  the  discreet  aid of  Fripp  was  released  in  1991. It's  less  bracing  than  its  predecessor  but  terminally  boring, an aimless  wander  in  Peter  Gabriel  territory  without  a  decent  tune  in  sight.  She  also  released  an  album  with  Fripp  and  two  other  musicians  as  Sunday  All  Over  The  World. I've  only  heard  two  tracks  from  the  album  "Kneeling  At  The  Shrine"  but  they  sound  a  bit  more  interesting  than  her  solo  record.   In  1993  she  went   out  on  tour  and  was  flogging  a  cassette,  "Leap!"  which  included  some  new  punky  tracks   alongside  re-recordings  of  old  material  with  her  new  band. She  was  also  the  guest  vocalist  on  six  tracks  of  the  eponymous  album  by  obscure  German  prog-rock   outfit  Kiss  of  Reality.

Her  1994  album  "Dreamchild" was  something  different  as  she  had  very  little  writing  input , most  of  the  tracks  being  composed  by  producer  Ian  Bennett. You  would  question  the judgement  of  anyone  who  thought  of  Toyah  as  the  ideal  vocalist  for  their  project  but  the   end  result  is  listenable  Enigma-style  dance  pop  with  a  considerable  amount  of  the  vocals being  spoken  word.

Her  next  couple  of  LPs  "Looking  Back"  ( 1995 )  and  "The  Acoustic  Album"  ( 1996 )  were   re-workings  of  older  material.

In  1997  she  added  another  string  to  her  bow  by  becoming  the  narrator  of   Teletubbies  , a more  popular  series  than  Brum  , her  first  attempt  at  childrens' narration  six  years  earlier.  In 1999  she  had  the  lead  part  in  another  kids  TV  programme, Barmy  Aunt  Boomerang.  With  her TV  career  booming  music  took  more  of  a  back  seat  than  ever.

In  2002  she  made  some  new  tracks  available  through  her  website  as  the  "Little  Tears  of  Love  "  EP   though  this  was  restricted  to  1,000  signed  copies. She  also  did  the  Here  And  Now  eighties  revival  tour  that  year.  The  following  year  she  made  them  more  widely  available  on  the  mini-album  "Velvet  Lined  Shell" , released  to  coincide  with  her  appearance  on  the  second  I'm  A  Celebrity  Get  Me  Out  Of  Here  in  which  she  was  fourth  to  be  eliminated. The  album  is  heavily  influenced  by  Garbage  but  the  stripped  down  sound  courtesy  of  indie  band  Sweet  Billy  Pilgrim  suits  the  songs  and  it's  quite  palatable.

She  did  further  eighties  revival  tours  in  2004  and  2006  , supervising  a  reissue  of  her  singles  for  Safari  inbetween. In  2007  she  released  a  new  single  "Latex  Messiah"  a  glam-flavoured  stomp  with  a  disciplined  vocal , competent  but  uninteresting. She  also  formed  a  new  band  The  Humans  for  a  tour  of  Estonia,  having  persuaded  the  Estonian  Embassy  who  had  wanted  Fripp  ( now  retired ) that  they  should  have  her  instead.

In  2008  she  released  her  last  solo  album  to  date  "In  The  Court  of  the  Crimson  Queen".  It's the  most   straightforward  pop  album  of  her  career.  Anno  Domini  has  clearly  reduced  Toyah's    vocal  range  but  in  her  case  that's  a  plus; she  can't  shriek  like  she  used  to  and  that's  pushed  her  towards  the  mainstream. The  tracks  veer  between  modern  glam  a  la  Goldfrapp ( "Sensational" , "Come ") ,  Verve-style  indie  anthems  ( "Heal  Ourselves", "Bad  Man")  and  the  odd  semi-acoustic  number  ("Hyperventilate"). Apart  from  the  odd  trite  rhyme  none  of  it's  awful, none  of  it's  essential.

Since  then  Toyah  has  mainly  concentrated  on  The  Humans  when  not  touring  the  oldies. They  recorded  an  album  in  Seattle  in  2008, released  as  "We  Are  The  Humans"  initially  in  Estonia  only  in  May  2009. A  few  months  later  it  was  released  in  the  UK  with  a  tacked-on  cover  of  "These  Boots  Are  Made  For  Walking"  released  as  a  single. Despite  the  presence  of  Fripp  on  guitar  it's  dreadful. As  such  it's  an  appropriate  taster  for  the  album. Apart  from  the  occasional  input  from  Fripp  , Toyah's  partners  in  the  project  were  a  bassist  and  drummer  and  so  the  LP  is  seriously  melodically  undernourished. One  sparse, tuneless  alt-rock  dirge  follows  another  to  very  boring  effect. They  made  videos  for  one  or  two  of  the  tracks ; the  one   for  "Quicksilver"  features  a  half-naked  Toyah  with  a  guy  young  enough  to  be  her  son  rubbing  her  bare  breasts. It  has  to  be  said  she's  in  good  shape  for  her  age  but  it  doesn't  compensate  for  the  turgid  music  underneath. The  band  also  recorded  with  some  Estonian  musicians  as  This  Fragile  Moment.

In  2011  she  was  guest  vocalist  on  a  single  by  Yomanda  called  "Fallen", a  sparse  electro-pop ditty  that  doesn't  really  go  anywhere. She  was  also  in  a  film  "The  Power  Of  Three"  and  re-worked  the  track  "21st  Century  Supersister"  from  the  "...Crimson  Queen"  album  for  release as a  single. Then  came  the  second  Humans  album, "Sugar  Rush". It's  only  different  from  its predecessor  in  shifting  towards  abstract  electronica  for  the  backing  tracks  and  if  anything  it's even  more  boring.

In  2014  The  Humans  released  their  third  album,  "Strange  Tales".  With  seven  tracks  and clocking  in  at  under  half  an  hour  it's  considerably  shorter  than  its  predecessors  but  that's  not the  only  reason  it's  more  palatable.  The  album  features  some  additional  sax  and  string   players  to  flesh  out  the  sound  with  some  melody  and   there's  a  sense  of  urgency   that  was previously  missing. "Amnesia"  is  particularly  good.  

Like  everything  else  she's  released  since  "Echo  Beach" , it  failed to  chart  anywhere  ( it  should  be  noted  that,  even  at  the  height  of  her  fame  here,  she  struggled  for  hits  anywhere  else ). That's  almost  30  years  and , even  in  the  knowledge  it's  funded  by  a  buoyant  TV  and  stage career,  you  have  to  admire  that  bloody-minded  determination  to  keep  putting  out  material  for which  there's  no  appreciable  audience. It's  a  shame  so  little of  it  is  listenable.