556 Hello Wet Wet Wet - Wishing I Was Lucky

Chart  entered : 11  April  1987

Chart  peak : 6

Number  of  hits : 29

This  lot  got  a  lot  of  stick - some  of  it  deserved -  but  were  one  of  the  few  acts  to  emerge in  this  period  who  had  real  staying  power.

The  band  were  formed  at  Clydebank  High  School  by  bassist  Graeme  Clark  and  drummer  Tommy  Cunningham  in  1982. A  mutual  friend  Neil  Mitchell   was  invited  to  join  on  keyboards  then  Graeme   approached  a  decorator's  apprentice  Mark  McLachlan   who  was  known  to  be  a  good  singer.  The  following  year  they  invited  in  an  older   guitarist  Graeme  Duffin.  Graeme  D  had  been  playing  with  a  Glasgow  folk  band  New  Celeste  who  had  become  popular  in  Europe  and  released  a  couple  of  albums  there  but  he  had  left  by  1981. At  first  the  group  did  punk  covers  under  the  name  Musical  Vortex  but  soon  started  work  on  their  own  material. In  1984  they  acquired  a  manager  Elliott  Davis  and  changed  their  name  to  Wet  Wet  Wet   from  a  line  in  a  Scritti  Politti  song.   Mark  adopted  the  stage  name  of  "Marti  Pellow".

In  1985  they  signed  to  Phonogram   with  their  own off-shoot, the  Precious  Organisation  inspired  by  Dexy's  Midnight  Runners. It  was  around  this  time  that  a  decision  was  taken  that , as  far  as  the  public  were  concerned , Graeme  D  was  not  an official  member  of  the  group  and  wouldn't  appear  in  group  photographs  or  do  interviews. It's been  widely  assumed  that  Graeme   suffered  the  same  fate  as  Rolling  Stones  keyboard  player Ian  Stewart ;  at  thirty, and  a  ginger  to  boot,  he  wouldn't  be  an  asset  in   the  pages  of  Smash  Hits. However  Graeme  also  had  a  bad  stammer  and  the  decision  has  been  presented  as  a  compassionate  move  to  spare  him  the  trauma  of  being  interviewed.

Wet  Wet  Wet  were  leaning  in  the  direction  of  soul  so  the  record  label  arranged  for  them  to  go  to  Memphis  and  record  with  Al  Green  producer  Willie  Mitchell. They  recorded  eight  songs  with  him  but  Phonogram  didn't  think  the  results  were  commercial  enough  and  shelved  plans  for  their  release. They  were  eventually  released  as  "The  Memphis  Sessions"  in  1988  after  their  success  with  "Popped  In  Souled  Out"  (which  contained  re-workings  of  some  of  the  same  songs ). It  got  to  number  3  in  the  UK  but  no  singles  were  issued  from  it.

"Wishing  I  Was  Lucky"  was  not  one  of  the  songs  recorded  in  Memphis  and  is  atypical  in  having  a  vaguely  political  content. The  lyric  is  not  particularly  coherent  but  seems  to  be  about  a  man  seeking  work  and  getting  a  tip  off  but  there  seems  to  be  some  sort  of  catch, the  employer  being  an  unsavoury  character  in  a  way  that's  never  clearly  defined. That doesn't  matter  so  much  because  the  band  invest  enough  energy  and  passion  to  compensate  for  any  lyrical  vagueness. The  dullness  of  much  of  their  subsequent  output   has  clouded  memories  of  how  good  this  debut  single  is. The  first  half  is  built  around  Graeme  C's  springy  bass  line  with  splashes  of  synth  and  striking  piano  chords  from  Neil. Marti  demonstrates  his  range  with  a  powerful  white  soul  vocal; why  he  chose  to  present  himself  with  that  stupid  rictus  grin  when  they  did  Top  of  the  Pops  will  always  be  a  mystery. As  the  record  progresses,  the  harmonies  become  increasingly  complex  and   Graeme  D's  guitar  gets  more  and  more  prominent  until  he   really  lets  rip  on  the  howling  coda. I  must  admit  I  can't  recall  all  their  hits  but  I'd  be  very  surprised  if  this  wasn't  their  best  by  a  long  way.  

555 Hello Brother Beyond - How Many Times

Chart  entered :  4  April  1987

Chart  peak : 62

Number  of  hits : 10

You  don't  hear  this  lot  on  the  radio  much  but  they  were  briefly  contenders  and  at  least  one  of  their  number  is  still  around  and  doing  alright  for  himself.

Brother  Beyond  were  formed, appropriately  enough . by  two  brothers,  Francis  ( born 1966 )  and  David  White  in  1985.  Francis  played  bass  and  did  the  drum  programming  while  David  played  guitar. Francis  had  been  the  bass  player  in  Yip  Yip  Coyote  and  acquired  the  nickname  Eg, a  terrible  pun  but  it  stuck.  Yip  Yip  Coyote  were  part  of  the  cowpunk  scene  around  1983-4 . They  went  the  full  mile  and  performed  in  stetsons, bootlace  ties, cowboy  boots  the  lot  and  attracted  a  decent  live  following, the  odd  Peel  session  and  finally  a  contract  with  IRS.  They  released  a  couple  of  singles  in  the  UK, "Dream  of  the  West"  and  "Pioneer  Girl"  but  their  LP "Fifi" was  only  released  in  France  and  Japan. They  employed  some  talent  on  the  latter  with  Tony Mansfield  and  Anne  Dudley  producing  individual  tracks  but  in  truth  they  were  polishing  a  turd.  Vocalist  Fifi  Coyote  couldn't  sing,  songwriter  Carl  Evans  couldn't  pen  a  decent  tune  and  their  Theatre  of  Hate  meets  Bow  Wow  Wow  sound   was  already  a  couple  of  years  out  of  date. The  line  up  was  completed  by  keyboard  player  Carl  Fysh  and  singer  Nathan  Moore  who  had  no  previous  recording  experience.

They  got  a  deal  with  EMI  and  released  their  first  single , "I  Should  Have  Lied" , in  August  1986. Produced  by  Don  Was,  it's  a   surprisingly  sophisticated   piece  of   mature   pop  somewhere  between  Chris  Rea  and  China  Crisis  with  a  smoothly  assured  vocal  from  Nathan  and  some  great  synth  work. It's  just  not  immediate  enough  to  work  as  a  single  without  a  generous  amount  of  airplay.

"How  Many  Times"  was  the   somewhat  delayed   follow-up  and  although  written  by  the  same  pairing  of  Francis  and  Carl  it's  dire, the  band  having  veered  off  towards  the  bland  funk-pop  of  Kajagoogoo  or  later  Spandau  Ballet.  The  lyric  reveals  some  interest  in  the  language  of  love  songs  a  la  Martin  Fry  or  Paul  Heaton  but  in  such  a  lightweight  musical  setting  they  were  not  going  to  attract  a  cerebral  audience . The  fact  that  they  were  rewarded  for  going  down  the  lowest  common  denominator  route  was  just  one  more  depressing  aspect  of  the  late  eighties.

554 Goodbye Kool and the Gang - Stone Love

Chart  entered  : 21   March  1987

Chart  peak  :  45

Since  their  1979  breakthrough  Kool  and  the  Gang  had  been  one  of  the  most  consistent  R  &  B  acts  in  chart  terms. Slipping  into  the  yawning  gap  left  by  Chic's  retreat  from  making  their  own  records,  the  boys  churned  out  a  string  of  lightweight  funk  tunes  usually  marked  by  exactly  the  sort  of  lyrical  inanity  the  likes  of  Spandau  Ballet  and  Linx  made  it  their  mission  to  avoid. While  many  of  their  contemporaries  met  the  challenge  of  electro-funk  by  investing  in  new  synths  and  drum  machines,  Kool  and  the  Gang  went  in  the  opposite  direction  and  started  doing  ballads, one  of  which  "Joanna"  became  their  biggest  hit  in  1984. Although  commercially  successful,  it  did  encumber  them  with  a  rather  staid  image.  Kool  had  also  done  well  in  keeping  his  Gang  together. Keyboard  player  Earl  Toon  had  been  replaced  by  Curtis  Williams  in  1982   and  Michael  Ray  ( trumpet )  and  Cliff  Adams  ( trombone )  had  been  added  to  the  brass  section  but  otherwise  the  "Ladies  Night"  line  up  was  intact. .

"Stone  Love"  was  the  second  single  from  their  1986   album  "Forever"  , the  previous  one  "Emergency",  having  reached  number  30.  The  album  didn't  chart  in  the  UK  so  they  would  have  had  an  inkling  that  their  popularity  was  on  the  wane. The  song  was  mainly  written  by  singer  James  Taylor  and  guitarist  Claydes  Smith   although  the  latter's  instrument  isn't  very  prominent  in  the  mix  and  the  brass  section  are  discarded  in  favour  of  the  Fairlight. It's  a  pleasant  enough , synth-led,  pop  funk  number  with  James  as  smooth  as  ever , not  strong  enough  to  turn   their  fortunes  around   but  not  evidence  for  their  decline  either.

Both  singles  did  significantly  better  in  the  U.S.  reaching  number  10  in  both  cases.  In  the  US the  album  yielded  two  more  hits  that  don't  seem  to  have  been  released  in  the  UK. "Holiday"  is  a  harder-edged  funk  track  with  some  outre  sax  work  while  "Special  Way"  is  the  now-obligatory  ballad , an  ultra-wet  wallow  in  Lionel  Ritchie  territory.  A  fifth  single  "Peacemaker" , an  over-produced,  synth-led,  AOR  number  with  woolly  liberal  lyrics , was  released  in  Europe  and  made  number  20  in  the  Netherlands. At  the  end  of  the  year  the  band  were  told   at  a  business  meeting  that  they  were  effectively  bankrupt  and  their  homes  were  at  risk.

James  then  decided  to  leave  the  group to  pursue  a  solo  career, declaring  himself  bankrupt  at  the  same  time. Trumpeter  Robert  Mickens  who  was  in  poor  health  also  departed  around  this  time . Just  as  James's  arrival  had  sparked  a  huge  upswing  in  their  popularity, so  his  departure  saw  their  fortunes  nosedive. In  1988  they  recorded  some  new  tracks  for  a  compilation  LP   with  vocalist  Skip  Martin  who'd  previously  worked  with  The  Dazz  Band. The  lead  single  "Rags  To  Riches "  ( again  I'm  not  sure  it  was  released  here )  is  a competent  urban  soul  number  but  with  Martin's  Larry  Blackman  snarl  and  a  couple  of  screaming  rock  guitar  solos  it  doesn't  really  sound  like  them  at  all. The  second  single  "  Strong"  featured  a  different  singer, the  sweet voiced  Gary  Brown, is  a  straight  AOR  ballad  and  not  bad  if  you  like  that  sort  of  thing. Both  songs  were  hits  in  Germany  but  nowhere  else. Here, where  the  album  didn't  chart  , we  preferred  a  re-mix  of  "Celebration"  which  got  to  number  56.

Another  blow  followed  in  1989  when  saxophonist  Ronald  Bell  decided  to  sit  out  their  next LP, "Sweat"  in  1989.  Apart  from  a  couple  of  syrupy  ballads  like  second  single  "Never  Give  Up" , it  sees  the  band  dive  head  first  into  the  prevalent  New  Jack  Swing  style  but  without  any  strong  songs  it  could  be  anybody. The   lead  singles  "Raindrops"  doesn't  stand  out  from  the  pack. Only  Germany   was  still  interested  , the  album  making  number  28  there . "Raindrops"  made  number  42  their  last  new  song  to  chart  anywhere.

In  1991  a  remix  of  "Get  Down  On  It"  was  a  minor  hit  in  the  UK.

The  following  year  they  released  another  album  "Unite"  with  Ronald  back  on  board. They  also  had  another  new  singer  in  Odeen  Mays. The  album  was  a  sprawling  affair  clocking  in  at  over  an  hour  and  seems  less  concerned  with  being  right  up  to  the  minute  than  its  predecessor. There  are  diversions  into  old  school  rap  on  "Brown", politics  with  the  inserts  of  sampled  speech  and  reggae  on  the  title  track  while  some  of  their  old  melodic  assurance  is  evident  on  the  single  "Rhythm  and  Ride"  but  there  was  little  interest  in  the  band  now . Even  in  Germany  it  only  scraped   a  number  94  placing.

In  the  mid-nineties  the  band  persuaded  James  to  put  his  misfiring  solo  career  on  hold  and  make  another  album  with  them , 1996's  "State  of  Affairs". They  were  much  the  stronger  for  his  return  and  the  album  is  far  better  than  the  two  made  without  him. They  stick  with  the  modern  production  techniques  and  some  politics  in  "Color  Line"  and  "Life  In  The  90s"    but  James's   way  with  a  tune   harks  back  to  previous  triumphs. The  closing  track  , the  cloying  "Reunited"  is  best  avoided  though. Alas  the  album  was  completely  ignored  and  the  band  turned  away  from  recording   new  material.    

In  2001 , by  which  time  James  had  left  once  more, they  released  "Gangland" an  album featuring  unknown  rappers  on   remakes  of  their  old  songs. It  didn't  find  a  market. In  2003 they  guested  on  Atomic  Kitten's  cover  of   "Ladies  Night"  which  reached  number  8  in  the UK. The  following  year  they  had  a   number  29  hit  in  Germany  assisting  Blue  and  Lil  Kim on  a  cover  of  "Get  Down  On  It". A  third  such  collaboration, with  Jamiroquai  re-making "Hollywood  Swinging"  made  no  impact  anywhere.

At  the  beginning  of  2006  Claydes  quit  touring  due  to  health  and  six  months  later  he  was dead.  Later  that  year  they  released  a  new  single  "Steppin'  Into  Love "  a  snoozy  mellow groove  which  they  promoted  with  an  appearance  on  the  Home  Shopping  Network. It  appeared on  their  next  LP  "Still  Kool"  . You  can  perhaps  forgive  them  for  sounding  subdued  by Claydes's  death  but  the  whole  album  is  terribly  lacklustre  culminating  in  a  Kenny  G-style cover  of  Christopher  Cross's  already  ultra-bland  "Sailing".

Still  they  toiled  on . In  2010  they  backed  a  new  singer  Towanna  on  "Miss  Lead" , a  cover  of their  1985  hit  "Misled". That  was  hardly  their  finest  hour  anyway  but  re-worked  as   clumpy   electronica  with  a  singer  of  uncertain  talent  it  sounds  much  worse. In  2013  they  released  a Christmas  album  "Kool  for  the  Holidays"

In  2015  they  lost  another  member  when  Clifford  died.

Still  the  band  refuse  to  die  and  just  two  months  ago  released  a  new  single  "Sexy",  an attempt  to  recapture  some  of  their  old  funky  vibe  but  it   never  really  catches  fire  and  given the  ages  of  the  original  band  members  comes  across  as  a  bit  Benny  Hill. The  band  went  out on  tour  with  other  funk  veterans  like  Bootsy  Collins  and  Morris  Day  last  month  and  promise that  a  new  LP  is  in  the  offing.

Earl  founded  Y.M.O.  Enterprises  LLC. He  was  active  as  a  writer  and  producer  in  the  eighties working  with  forgotten  funk  acts  like  Candela  and  Motivation  and  Miami  Vice  actor  Philip Michael  Thomas.  He  later  concentrated  on  working  to  promote  charitable  organisations particularly  those  concerned  with  children. Last  year  he  released  a  version  of  the  hymn  "The Old  Rugged  Cross".

Robert  continued  to  be  dogged  by  ill  health  and  died  in  a  nursing  home  in  2010.

That  leaves   James.  As  the  voice  on  all  those  hits  James  had  no  problems  getting  a  solo  deal  with  MCA ( once  he'd  fought  off  Polygram  who'd  opposed  his  bankruptcy )  and  he  cut  his  teeth  with  a  couple  of  tracks  for  soundtrack  albums. "The  Promised  Land"  for  Ghostbusters  2   is  a  decent  moody   pop  funk  number  although  it's  hard  to  see  how  its  sentiments  of  political  disillusion  tie  in  with  the  film. The  other , "All  I  Want  Is  Forever"  was  from  dancing  movie  Tap  and  is  a  stupendously  dull  duet  with  Regina  Belle  written  by  queen  of  the  glutinous  power  ballad  Dine  Warren. It  was  released  as  a  single  but  with  the  film  a  turkey  it  wasn't  a  hit.

Both  songs  appeared  on  James'  first  album  "Master  of  the  Game" in  1989  , most  of  the  other  tracks  being  written  by  James  himself.  Perhaps  unsurprisingly  it  displays  a  surer  commercial  grasp  than  his  ex-bandmates'  effort  that  year  but  only  half  of  it's  any  good  with  the  rest  being  vacuous  songs  drowning  in  80s  production  cliches.  The  first  single  "Sister  Rosa"  ( nothing  to  do  with  Ms  Parks )  is  a  creditable  attempt  at  steamy  Michael  Jackson  pop  funk  and  follow-up   " 8  Days  A  Week "  adopts  the  New  Jack  Swing  style  more  adeptly  than  his  old  band  but  neither  made  any  impression. James's  biggest  problem  was  that  people  knew  the  voice  but  not  the  name.  During  the  band's  heyday,  many   listeners  had  assumed  he  was  "Kool"  but  of  course  it  wasn't  his  to  take  with  him.  Without  hit  singles  the  album  didn't  get out  of  the  R &  B  chart  and  even   there  it  didn't  perform  particularly  well.

His  second  album  "Feel  The  Need"  , released  under  the  name  JT  Taylor  in  1991  couldn't  manage  even  that  but  it  did  manage  to  spawn  three  minor  hits  in  the  UK, "Long  Hot  Summer  Night"  with  its  embarrassingly  obvious  erotic  lyrics, "Feel  The  Need"  and  "Follow  Me". All  see  James   moving  to  a  smooth  soul  sound; my  wife  thought  it  was  Simply  Red .

His  third  album  "Baby  I'm  Back "  in  1993  featured  a  couple  of  writing  collaborations  with  Ronald  but  made  no  impact  whatsoever  and  MCA  ran  out  of  patience , hence  his  willingness  to  re-join  the  Gang.

He  resumed  his  solo  career   on  Interscope  in  1999  with  a  single  "Sex  on  the  Beach"  a  passable  pop  R  &  B  number. The  following  year  he  released  the  album  "A  Brand  New  Me". James  partially  makes  good  on  the  promise  with  ventures  into  electronica  and  hip  hop    supervised  by  producer  Marcus  Quintanilla  who  co-wrote  most  of  the  tracks. None  of  it's  bad  - "New  Millennium"  is  trying  a  bit  too  hard  to  be  a  party  anthem  for  the  moment  but  it's  still  listenable - but  he  just  couldn't  persuade  enough  people  to  listen  to  him  anymore.

Since  then  James  has  been  touring  the  oldies  separately  from  the  band  in  the  U.S.. He's  never  performed  in  Europe  as  promoters  prefer  to  stick  with  the  group. A  couple  of  years  ago  he  was  trailing  a  new  politically motivated  album  but  it's  yet  to  see  the  light  of  day.


 

553 Hello Terence Trent D'Arby - If You Let Me Stay

Chart  entered : 14  March  1987

Chart  peak :  7

Number  of  hits : 11

This  guy  was  undoubtedly  one  of   the  stars  of  1987  but  he  also  provides  a  salutary  example  of  the  folly  of  declaring  someone's  genius  too  early.

Terence  Howard  was born  in  Manhattan  in  1962 , the  illegitimate  son  of  a  black  mother  and  white  father. He  took  his  stepfather's  surname  but  the  apostrophe  was  his  touch. He  started  training  as  a  boxer  and  won  a  regional  lightweight  championship  but  decided  to  go  to  college  instead. He  quit  that  after  a  year  and  enlisted  in  the  U. S. Army. While  posted  in  West  Germany  he  started  working  with  a  band  of  English  and  German  musicians  known  as  The  Touch  and  was  dishonourably  discharged  for  going  absent  without  leave. The  Touch  released  an  album  in  Germany   called  "Love  On  Time "   ( opportunistically  re-released in  1989  as  "Early  Works"  by  "The  Touch " ( in  small  letters)  with  Terence  Trent  D'Arby.  The  voice  is  very  recognisable  but  the  music  is  run  of  the  mill  pop  funk  in  the  Shalamar  vein  with  a  heavy  reliance  on  synths. Terence  moved  to  London  in  1986  and  spent  some  time  in  a  group  called  The  Bojangels  but  he  was  really  looking  for  a  solo  deal  and  found  one  with  CBS.

Terence  would  prove  himself  to  be  a  somewhat  eccentric  artist  but  for  this, his  debut  solo  single, he  was  playing  it  pretty  safe. "If  You  Let  Me  Stay "  is  a  well-judged  piece  of  retro-soul  with  only  the  crisp  drum  sound  and  ubiquitous  Fairlight  brass  stabs  identifying  it  as  an  Eighties  artefact. The  song  is  loose  enough  to  give  him  plenty  of  opportunities  to  stretch  his  voice  with  lots  of  whoops  and  ad  libs. He  works  hard  to  conjure  up  a  sweaty, exciting  R&  B  ambience  and  it paid  off. People  were  willing  to  accept  him  as  the  real  deal  but  it  still  feels  a  bit  plastic-y  to  me.

The  single  got  a  sharp  push   from  Terence's  appearance  on  The  Tube   making  him  the  last  artist  to  benefit  in  this  way  as  the  show  was  axed  at  the  end  of  the  month. The  very  last  show  previewed  a  superb  single, The  Happy  Man  by  Thomas  Lang, but  unfortunately  to  no  effect. It  was  a  decent  show  but  had  two  major  flaws. Firstly  it  allowed  Jools  Holland's  Luddism ( and  cronyism )  to   have  too  much  sway  over  its  music  policy  so  synth  acts  got  short  shrift  and  people  got  fed  up  of  seeing  Paul  Young  on  all  the  time. Holland  was actually  allowed  to  get  away  with  introducing  one  band  - I  can't  remember  if  it  was  Tears  For  Fears  or  China  Crisis - as  " a  couple  of  poseurs".  The  other  problem  was  that,   as  time  went  on,  the  musical  content  of  the  show  diminished  with  much  more  of  the  programme  given  over  to  alternative  comedians. I  remember  they  did  a  laboured  Celebrity  Squares  sketch   with  an  unidentified  compere  who  was  so  appallingly  wooden  that  I  felt  completely  certain  I'd  never  see  him  in  front  of  a  camera  again. But  no - he  teamed  up  with  a  guy  called  Bob  Mortimer  and  the  rest  is  history.

552 Hello Boy George solo - Everything I Own

Chart  entered : 7  March  1987

Chart  peak : 1

Number  of  hits  : 17  ( including  4  as  Jesus  Loves  You )

George's  solo  career  turned  out  to  be  underwhelming  - there  was  only  one  other  Top  20  hit  to  come * - but  it  couldn't  have  got  off  to  a  much  better  start.

This  came off  the back  of  an  horrendous  couple  of  years  for  George, one  of  the  most  spectacular  falls  from  grace  in  pop  history  played  out  in  the  full  glare  of  the  tabloids. After  bestriding  the  world  with  "Karma  Chameleon"  George  then  drove  a  stake  through  their  US  success  by  referring  to  himself  as  "a  good  drag  queen"  when  accepting  a  Grammy  for  it  in  1984. That  year's  LP  "Waking  Up  With  The  House  On  Fire"  went  platinum  on  advance  sales  but  both  critics  and  punters  were  disappointed  with  the  contents. Second  single  "The  Medal  Song" failed  to  breach  the  Top  30. Although  George  appeared  on  the  Band  Aid  single  Culture  Club  were  nowhere  to  be  seen  at  Live  Aid   and  recording  sessions  for  the  next  album  dragged  on  due  to  George's  frequent  incapacity  through  heroin  addiction. Although  it  got  finished  as  "From  Luxury  To  Heartache"  and  yielded  a  couple  of  hits  in  1986  it  failed  to  arrest  their  commercial  decline.  George   made  a  solo appearance  at  an  anti-apartheid  gig   in  the  summer  looking  like  death  warmed  up  and  his  substance  abuse  became  public  knowledge  just  days  later. A  musician  friend  OD'd   at  his  house  and  he  was  arrested  for  possession. His  relationship  with  drummer  Jon  Moss  cracked  under  the  strain  which  meant  the  band  breaking  up.  

The  Popular  thread  is  here

* excluding  the  Culture  Club  reunion

551 Hello Anthrax - I Am The Law

Chart  entered :  28  February  1987

Chart  peak : 32

Number  of  hits  : 10

This  record  coming  in  at   number  37  was  further  evidence  that  a  band  with  a  strong  fanbase  need  make  no  concession  to  commerciality  to  enter  the  Top  40.

Anthrax   were  formed  in  Queen's , New  York  City  in  the  summer  of  1981  by  guitarists  Scott Ian  and  Dan  Lilker. Scott  was  born  in  1963  and  was  inspired  by  Kiss, Black  Sabbath, Iron Maiden  and  Motorhead   although  he  also  listened  to  The  Ramones.  He  got  the  name  of  the band  from  a  biology  textbook  and  liked  its  evil  implications. There  already  was  an  anarcho-punk  band  of  that  name in  Britain, of  whom  he  was  probably  unaware.  The  early  line  up was fluid  as  they  built  up  a  live  reputation. They  are  considered  one  of  the  four  originators  of thrash  metal, a  combination  of  British  metal   values  and  US  hardcore  punk  influences especially  the  ultra-fast  drumming  with  two  bass  drums. The  lyrics  were  usually  serious  and pessimistic  although  Anthrax's  unique   contribution  to  the  genre  was  to  add  a  little  humour  to the  mix.

In   1983,  Charlie  Benante   joined  as  their  third  drummer  and  Dan  Spitz  ( born  1963 )  came in  as  a  guitarist  as  Lilker  switched  over  to  bass . Charlie  was  born  in 1962  and  hailed  from The  Bronx. In  addition  to  his  drumming  abilities  Charlie  was  a  graphic artist  and  designed   their  sleeves  and  T-shirts. The  band  became  friendly  with  record  store  boss  Jon   Zazula   whose  record  label  Megaforce  had  just  released  " Kill 'Em  All", Metallica's  debut  LP.  He signed  Anthrax  up  and  they  released  the  single  "Soldiers  of  Metal"  in  November  1983 followed  shortly  after  by  the album  "Fistful  of  Metal". To  me  it all  sounds  like  speeded  up Iron  Maiden  with   a  similar  disregard  for  a   decent  tune.  The  track  "Metal  Thrashing  Mad" gave  this  admittedly  ferocious  sound  a  name  but  the  only  track  that  stands  out  is  the  cover of  Alice  Copper's  "I'm  Eighteen"  where  they're  obliged  to  slow  down  a  bit. Tellingly  Scott   refused  to  play  on  the  track  which  was  included  at  Zazula's  insistence . Neither  record charted.

Shortly  after  the  album's  release,  both  Lilker  and  singer  Neil  Turbin  were  fired. Charlie's  nephew  Frank  Bello    ( born  1965 )  who  had  been  roadying  for  the  band  stepped  in  on  bass.  The  band  briefly  converted  to  a  hardcore  punk  covers  band  called  The  Diseased  while  they  looked  for  a  new singer.  They  eventually  chose  Joey  Belladonna  ( born  1960 ).  His  first  recording  with  the  band  was  the  "Armed  and  Dangerous"  EP    in  February  1985 ( although  its  live  tracks  featured  Turbin ). The  title  track  hinted  at  versatility  with  a  semi-acoustic  intro  before  the  gallop  begins  and  the  EP   featured  a  version  of  the Pistols' "God  Save  The  Queen "  sung  rather  too  politely.

In  the  autumn  they  released  their  second  album  "Spread  The  Disease"  which  was  distributed  by  Island  in  the  UK.  With  Joey  doing  a  creditable  impersonation  of   Rob  Halford  they  now  sounded  more  like  speeded  up  Judas  Priest  than  Maiden  with  Joey's  phrasing  making  the  lyrics  more  intelligible.  Despite  that  it's  still  likely  to  send  any  casual  listener  looking  for  the  aspirin  bottle. They  picked  "Madhouse"  for  the  next  single ( it  could  have  been  any  track  really )  and  made  a  promo  for  it  but  it  got  banned  for  being  in  bad  taste. The  album  made  a  minor  mark  on  the  US  chart. With  some  spare  studio  time  available  Scott  and  Charlie  recorded  an  album  of  punkier  material  under  the  name  Stormtroopers  of  Death.

Anthrax  spent  most  of  1986  playing  live  and  were  on  the  European  tour  with  Metallica  which  ended  with  the  death  in  a  road  accident  of  the  latter's  Cliff  Burton.

"I  Am  The  Law"  was  the  lead  single  for  their  third  album  "Among  The  Living". Like  The  Human  League  song  of   the  same  name  it  was  inspired  by  2,000 A.D.s  zero  tolerance  cop  of  the  future. Its  chart  success  owed  everything  to  their  hard  work  in  building  an  audience  and  Island's  marketing  nous  ( there  was  a  picture  disc  version )   , nothing  to  any  attempt  to  sweeten  the  pill. "I  Am  The  Law"  has  a  shouty  chous  of  sorts  - including  the  line  "Don't  you  fuck  around  no  more "  so  I'm  guessing  there  was  a  radio  edit  available  -but  it's  an  uncompromising  pounding  noise-fest  with  their  usual  trick  of  accelerating  when  you  might  be  expecting  them  to  wind  it  down. Outside  of  The  Friday  Rock  Show,  I  would  hazard  a  guess   this  is  one  of  the  least-played  Top  40  hits  of  the  deade.

550 Hello Beastie Boys - ( You Gotta ) Fight For Your Right ( To Party )

Chart  entered : 28  February  1987

Chart  peak : 11

Number  of  hits  : 15

We've  crossed  a  personal  Rubicon  here  as  we're  now  discussing  records  released  after  I  started  work. As  I  was  working  in  an  office  environment , there  was  no  radio  which  means  I  can  no  longer  say  whether  records  got  airplay  or  not. Mind  you, post- Jack  Your  Body  getting  to  number  one,  that  wasn't  such  an  important  factor  any  more.

 Beastie  Boys  arose  from  a  hardcore  punk  band  called  Young  Aborigines  in  New  York  in  the  summer  of  1981 . Vocalist  Michael  Diamond  ( born  1965 ) , guitarist  John  Berry  and  drummer  Kate  Schellenbach  invited  Adam  Yauch   ( born  1964 ) to  replace  a  departing  bass  player  and  renamed  themselves  Beastie  Boys.  They  released  an  eight  track  EP  "Pollywog  Stew"  in  1982. The  lyrics  are  mostly  unintelligible  and  to  British  ears  most  of  it  sounds  as  tediously  retarded  as  the  likes  of   The  Exploited   although  there  are  passages  of  more  disciplined  guitar  from  Berry. He  left  shortly  after  its  release  and  was  replaced  by  Adam  Horovitz  (  born  1966  )  from  punk  peers  The  Young  And  The  Useless.  Beastie  Boys  played  on  the  New  York  circuit  with  the  likes  of  Bad  Brains, Dead  Kennedys  and  Reagan  Youth  but  were  also  keeping  an  eye  on  the City's  burgeoning  hip  hop  scene.  

Although  three,  wholly  or  partly  Jewish  white  boys  and  a  girl  were  unlikely  conduits  for  the  new  music  they  released  a  track  "Cooky Puss"  on  an  EP  in  1983 , based  on  a  prank  call   to  an  ice  cream  company , and  incorporating  scratching  and  samples. It's  incoherent  and  frankly  dire  but  its  acceptance  in  the  underground  dance  clubs  convinced  the  three  lads  that  this  was  the  way  forward. Schellenbach  wanted  to  stay  a  punk  and  quit  at  this  point  with  Mike  taking  over  behind  the  drum  kit  when  necessary.

As  the  group  incorporated  rap  into  their  set  they  decided  they  needed  a  DJ  and  selected  Rick  Rubin  another  ex-punk   and  white  enthusiast  for  hip  hop. Rubin  had  also  set  up  a  new  record  label  with  Russell  Simmons  called  Def  Jam  and  signed  Beastie  Boys  to  it. They  released  their  next  single  "Rock  Hard  in  1984. The  single  takes  the  riff  from  AC/DC's  Back  In  Black   synchronises  it  with  a  monster  breakbeat  ( for  which  Rubin  took  a  writer's  credit ) and  the  lads  shout  over  the  top  of  it. The  sample  was  uncleared  and  with  AC/DC  predictably  opposed  to  the  concept  it  had  to  be  withdrawn  promptly.

Their  next  single  "She's  On  It"  came  out  in  November  1985  after  the  song  was  featured  in  the  film  Krush  Groove, Simmon's  self-mythologizing  account  of  the  early  days  of  Def  Jam. Rubin  came  up  with  the  hard  rock  riff  while  Adam  H  supplied  the  tasteless  lascivious  lyrics  which  they  whine  in  turn. I  find  it  grindingly  boring  but  it  was  a  top  10  hit  on  reissue  in  1987.

In  April  1986  they  released  their  next  single  "Hold  It  Now  Hit  It"  which  turned  out  to  be  the  lead  single  for  their  album  "Licensed  To  Ill"  though  that  didn't  come  out  until  six  months  later. Like  early  Run DMC  the  guys  are  rapping  over  a  bare  percussion  track  with  just  the  occasional  sample  to  break  the  monotony.  It  still  confounds  me  that  anyone  could  enjoy  listening  to  these  obnoxious  frat  boys  shouting  (  or  whining  in  the  case  of  Adam  H -" "Ad Rock" - whose  gnat-like  voice  is  particularly  aggravating )  about   their  loutish  lifestyle  with  the  occasional  break  for  profundities  like  "I  come  from  Brooklyn  cause  that's  where  I'm  from"  with  no  tune  in  sight   for  three  minutes   but  I  guess  that's  just  a  rite  of  passage  for  everyone.

The  next  single  "The  New  Style" , released  just  ahead  of  the  album  is  just  as  impenetrable  - the  line  "We  got  the  kind  of  voices  that  are  in  your  face"  couldn't  be  more  true. This  one  came  with  added  objectionable  lyrics  about  shooting  people   and  "The  girlies  I  like  are  underage". Despite  the  fact  that  none  of  their  singles  had  made  the  Billboard  chart  the  album  "Licenced  to  Ill"  was  an  instant  success  and  became  the  first  rap  album  to  top  the  US  chart  ( here  it  got  to  number  7 ) .

"( You  Gotta )  Fight  For  Your  Right  ( To  Party ) "  was  the  third  single  from  the  album  in  the  UK  and  was  boosted  by  a  sudden  interest  in  the  band   from  the  tabloids  eager  for  some  Sex  Pistols-style  outrage   (  the nonsense  that  they'd  been  rude  to  some  disabled  kids  at  the  airport  was  almost  a  re-run  of  the  Pistols'  puking  story  and  just  as  fictitious ).  Adam  Y  and  his  friend  Tom  Cushman  wrote  the  song  as  a  parody  of  empty-headed  frat  boy  behaviour  but  of  course  that  wasn't  understood  by  most  of  its  audience.  Mike  D  later  commented  ruefully "There  were  tons  of  guys  singing  along  to  "Fight  For  Your  Right"  who  were  oblivious  to  the  fact  it  was  a  total  goof  on  them".

Musically  the  single  is  something  of  a  compromise. One  of  only  two  tracks  on  the  album  not  to  use  samples  it  also  eschews  any  urban  slang  in  its  attempt  to  get  across  to  a  white  rock  audience. The  guys  fall  into  a  disciplined   verse  chorus  structure  with  a  break  for  a  guitar  solo. Only  the  rhythmic  rigidity  and  non-melodic  vocals  stop  it  being  an  out-and-out  rock  track. Although  not  their  biggest  hit,  it's  probably  their  best-known  track  in  the  UK   and  I  suspect  many  people  still  remember  the  video  and  recall  them  as  the  bastard  offspring  of  John  Belushi.  

549 Hello The Christians - Forgotten Town

Chart  entered : 31  January  1987

Chart  peak : 22

Number  of  hits : 13

As  one  Liverpudlian  group  bowed  out of  the  charts, another  took  its  place  although  all  four  members  were  a  fair  bit  older  than  the  lads  in  China  Crisis.

The  three  mixed  race  Christian  brothers  Roger  ( born  1950 ),   Garry  ( born  1955 ), Russell ( born  1956 )  were  from  a  large  family  with  musical  leanings. There  was  an  elder  bother  Dennis  who  committed  suicide  in  his  twenties. Another  brother  Richard, a  classical  music  teacher  started  a  family  group  called  Equal  Temperament  in  1974  doing  a  cappella  numbers  around  Liverpool. They  went  nowhere  in  particular  for  nearly  a  decade  and  some  of  the  brothers  dropped  out  to  pursue  alternative  careers.  Roger  and   Garry  took  time  out  to  sing  in  a  soul  band , Natural  High,  who  performed  a  version  of  "People  Get  Ready"  on  Opportunity  Knocks  but  didn't  win.  Reduced  to  a  trio  by  1983 , their  fortunes  turned  after  appearing  way  down  the  bill  on  that  years  "Larks  In  The  Park"  festival.

Their  act  was  noted  by  Hull-born  white  keyboard  player  Henry  Priestman.  Henry  came  to  Liverpool  as  an  art  student  in  the  mid-seventies  and  joined  a  punk  band called  Albert  and  the  Cod  Warriors  who  supported  the  Sex  Pistols  at  an  early  gig. They  soon  re-christened  themselves  as  Yachts  and  played  their  first  concert  supporting  Elvis  Costello  at  Eric's. As  a  result  they  found  themselves  with  a  deal  from  Stiff.

Yachts  are  one  of  the  best  bands  never  to  have  a  hit  single. Henry  co-wrote  their  first  single  " Suffice  To  Say " in  September  1977  with  droll  singer  John  Campbell . A  song  about  writing  a  song  ( more  than  a  decade  before  the  over-rated  Paul  Heaton )  - "And  though  the  rhyming's  not  that  hot, it's  quite  a  snappy  little  tune " - it's  an  early  new  wave  classic  with  Henry's   swirling  organ  an  integral  part  of  the  sound. After  recording  a  silly  B-side  for  mates  Big  In  Japan  as  The  Chuddy  Nuddies   they  followed  Costello  and  Nick  Lowe  to  Radar.

They  put  out  a  string  of  splendid  singles , all  but  one  of  which  Henry  had  had  a  hand  in  writing  and  two  solid  LPs  , "Yachts"  ( which  made  a  very  minor  mark  on  the  US  chart )  and  "Without  Radar". The  former  includes  the  fabulous  "Mantovani's  Hits "  which  posits  a  world  in  which  Elvis  never  broke  through - "I  watch  my  Dansette  wait  in  vain /  For  that  pure  pop  that  never came". The  second  album is  slightly  the  weaker  due  to  Campbell's  departure  but  benefits  from  a  shinier  production  courtesy  of  Martin  Rushent. Despite  working  with  top  calibre  producers  ( besides  Rushent  they  recorded  with  Clive  Langer  and  Richard  Gottehrer  )  and  getting  prestigious  support  slots  ( The  Who, 1979 ) they  never  sold  many  records  and  their  final  single,  Henry's  "A  Fool  Like  You" on  the  Demon  label,  sounds  doleful  and  defeated  ( though  still  pretty  good ).

Henry  had  already  begun  working  with  others  such  as  Wah  and  Bette  Bright  but  settled  with  Campbell  in  his  new  band,  It's  Immaterial  or  did  he  ? It's  Immaterial  are  one  of  the  most  poorly-documented  bands  to  have  a  hit  in  the  eighties  and  Henry's  exact  status within  it   seems  open  to   question. What  is  clear  is  that  he  didn't  write  much  for  them  with  Campbell  writing  most  of  the  songs  with  new  partner  Jarvis  Whitehead  although  he  stayed  involved  with  them  right  up  to  the  formation  of  The  Christians.

Their  first  single  "Young  Man  ( Seeks  Interesting  Job )"  in  1980  is  an  unremarkable  slice  of  mod  pop  that  could  be  Secret  Affair  or  Dexy's.  By  the  time  of  their  first  session  for  Peel  and  next  single  "Imitate  The  Worm"  in  1981 they  were  a  post-punk  outfit  somewhat  akin  to  the  original  Thompson  Twins. Both  that  single   and  the next , "A   Gigantic  Raft  In  The  Phillipines",  are  percussion-heavy  rafts  rather  than  songs  although  the  latter  is  more  melodic. By  autumn  1983  they  had   moved  towards  a  more  commercial  sound  with  "Whiteman's  Hut" ( well  I  bought  it  anyway )   and  its  kiddie  chorus.

The  band  moved  at  a  glacial  pace  and  it  was  nearly  two  years  before  the  next  single  "Ed's  Funky  Diner" in  1985  . Henry  was  still  involved  and  the  guys  accepted  his  suggestion  that  the  song  could  be   beefed  up  by  some  male  harmonies  from  the  group  he  had  seen  at  the music  festival.  He  was  certainly  right  as  the  brothers  really  make  the  chorus  soar  on  a  rollicking  song  about  Campbell's  eclectic  mixture  of  cultural  heroes  ( including  Viv  Nicholson  and  Malcolm  X ) meeting  up  at  a  fictional  diner. It  was  a  minor  hit  the  following  year  on  re-release .

Henry  struck  while  the  iron  was  hot  and  proposed  the  brothers  continue  working  with  him  on  some  new  songs. They  were  big  fans  of  Jerry  Dammers  and   2 Tone  and  liked  the  idea  of  melding  their  soul  influences  with  Henry's  new  wave  pop  background  to  create  something  new. Island  bought  into  it  and  sent  them  into  the  studio  with  Laurie  Latham. "Forgotten  Town"  was  their  first  single  and  got  a  sharp  push  from  their  appearance  on  The  Tube   ( obviously  nothing  to  do  with  Latham  having  recently  produced  Squeeze  ) just  after  Christmas.

Henry  was  quick  to  point  out  that  his  song  was  not  directly   about  Liverpool  but  someone  wishing  to  quit  town  after  a  relationship  gone  wrong  and  the  town  could  just  as  easily  be  a  sleepy  southern  conurbation. The  song  is  tuneful, Garry's  a  strong  lead  vocalist  and  the  four  part  ( Henry  sang  too  )  harmonies  are  impressive  but  it  has  two  main  faults. One  is  that  it  takes  too  long  ( two  minutes  )  to  reach  the  chorus   but  more  importantly  it's  massively  over-produced. Record  Mirror   described   Latham's  sound  as  "suffocating  smog"  and  that's  pretty  accurate.  Anthony  Moore  who   wrote  the  title  track  to  Paul  Young's  No  Parlez   worked  with  Latham  on  this  and  it  has  a  very  similar  feel. There's  just  no  need  for  all  the  chattering  percussion  tracks  and  synth  buzzes,   let  the  voices  do  the   work .   It  didn't  prevent  the  single   reaching  a  respectable   position  for  a  first  release  but  it  remains  unlovable.

  

548 Goodbye China Crisis - Best Kept Secret

Chart  entered  : 24  January  1987

Chart  peak : 36

The  most   unassuming  of  eighties  pop  acts  had  had  a  chequered   chart  career  largely  due  to  an  apparent  split  musical  personality. Their  music  divided  between  synth-led  pop  ballads  and  spiky  Talking  Heads-influenced  art  pop  and  the  former  were   more  successful  in  the  charts  such  as  their  biggest  hit  "Wishful  Thinking"  ( number  9  in  1984 ).  Their  most  successful  album  was  1985's  Walter  Becker-produced  "Flaunt  The  Imperfection"  the  only  one  to  reach  the  Top  10  and  yield  two  Top  20  singles. The  departure  of   drummer  Dave  Reilly  after  the  first  LP  reduced  them  to  the  core  trio  of  Eddie  Lundon  and  Gary  Daly  for  a  time  but  the  band  expanded  to  include  bassist  Gary  Johnson,  drummer  Kevin  Wilkinson   and  lately  keyboard  player  Brian  McNeill.  Kevin  had  previously  been  with  The  Waterboys  and  played  on  their  first  two  albums. Brian  had  been  playing  with  Glaswegian  rock  outfit  the  David  Forbes  Band  and  was  classically  trained.


Like  the  previous  entry  this  was  a  second  single  trying  to  revive  interest  in  an  album ( "What  Price  Paradise" )  that  had  already  dropped  out  of  the  charts. The  lead  single  "Arizona  Sky"  had  stalled  at  number  47  despite  making  the  playlist  so  the  warning  signs  were  out  there. "Best  Kept  Secret"  is  a  plaintive  romantic  song  with  nice  harmonies. Although  Becker  had  been  unavailable  to  produce  the  current  album,  they  maintain  a  West  Coast  feel  in  a  forlorn  attempt  to  interest  America  ( where  they  remain  hitless ) . Unfortunately,  it's  also  one  of  their  dullest  singles, with  a  plodding  bass line  and  forgettable  melody.  The  attempt  to  pep  things  up  with  a  brassy  upbeat  section  in  the  middle  eight  just  seems  out  of  place. Again,  I  think  it  owed  its  Top  40  placing  to  the  post-Christmas  lull.

The  band  were  able  to  work  with  Becker  ( who  had  been  optimistically  listed  as  a  band  member  on  "Flaunt  the  Imperfection" )  again  for  most  of  their  next  album  "Diary  of  a  Hollow  Horse" in  1989. It  continued  their  journey  towards  mellow  adult  pop, Gary  D's  sometimes  bizarre  vocal  inflections  now  the  only  hint  at  their  post-punk  beginnings. It's   a  decent  listen  and  slightly  improved  on  its  predecessor's  peak  position  but  there  were  no  singles  on  it. "St  Saviour  Square"  and  "Red  Letter  Day"  were  bravely  sent  out  to  do  battle  with  Jason  Donovan  and  Brother  Beyond   but  neither  made  it  out  of  the "bubbling  under" section.

The  following  year  a  compilation  LP  made  number  32  in  the album  charts.  Another  remix  of  "African  and  White"  failed  to  attract  any  attention. For  some  reason  Virgin  released  another  compilation  two  years  later. It  failed  to  chart  and  band  and  label  parted  company.

The  extra  members  were  let  go  and  their  next  album  "Warped  By  Success" in 1994  was recorded  as  a  duo  with  small  contributions  from  Kevin  and  Gary  J  remaining  on one  track  each. There's  some  acknowledgement  of  the  nineties  in  the  rhythm  section  but  mostly  it's  business  as  usual  except  that  most  of  it  is  terminally  bland. The  worst  offender  is  "Everyday  The  Same"  which  outdoes  its  own  title  in  dreariness. Much  of  the  album  could  sit  alongside   such  coffee  table  horrors  as  Des'ree  and  The  Lighthouse  Family.  A  couple  of  the   tracks , "Hard  To  Be  Around  "  and  "Good  Again",  have  some  bite  but  that  wasn't  nearly  good  enough. It  was  their  first  album  to  stiff  completely.

The  following  year  the  three  other  guys  returned  to  record  a  live  acoustic  album  "Acoustically  Yours"   which  contained  no  new  material  and  it  too  bombed. They  left  again, Kevin  joining  Squeeze  where  we'll  pick  up  his  story  in  due  course.

With  no  label  interested  Eddie  and  Gary  continued  to  tour, sometimes  as  a  duo, sometimes  with  a  full  band. They  played  a  number  of  dates  in  The  Philippines. In  2007  Gary  put  out  a  limited  edition   solo  album   "The  Visionary  Mindset  Experience"  which  I  haven't  heard. Eddie  meanwhile  became  a  lecturer  in  music  at  the  Liverpool  Institute  of  Performing  Arts.

 In  2013  Brian, who  had  kept  busy  running  his  own  recording  studio  in  Glasgow  started  playing  with  them  again. At  the  end  of  the  year  they  posted  a  brand  new  track  "Everyone  You  Know"  on  the  Pledge  Music  website  to  attract  funding  for  a  new  album. It's  excellent, their melodic  and  harmonic  strengths  boosted  by  contemporary  sounds  so  that  it  sounds  a  bit  like  Keane.

The  album  "Autumn  in  the  Neighbourhood"  came  out  last  year.  I've  only  heard  two  tracks  in  their  recorded  form  so  it  would  be  unfair  for  me  to  judge  it . Needless  to  say  it  didn't  trouble  the  charts. Like  Heaven  17,  they  appeared  on  the  80s  Recovered  album  doing  a  pretty  good  version  of  Carole  King's  It's  Too  Late . 

Gary  J  dropped  out  of  the  music  business  and  opened  a  workwear  store  in  Seaforth  although  he  still  plays  in  a  pub  band  at  weekends.

Dave  cropped  up  again  in  another  Scouse  band   Jo  Jo  and  the  Real  People  who  put  out  a  couple  of  singles  on  Polydor  in  1987, a  version  of  "Lady  Marmalade"  produced  by  Stock  Aitken  and  Waterman  and  "One  By  One". I  haven't  heard  either  of  them. Dave  was  replaced  before  they  contracted  to  just  The  Real  People  and  achieved  moderate  success  in  the  early  nineties . He  married  Bonnie  Spencer, daughter  of  former  Idle  Race  drummer  Roger  Spencer  and  is  currently  in  tribute  act  The  Backbeat  Beatles.

547 Goodbye Heaven 17 - Trouble

Chart  entered :  10  January  1987

Chart  peak : 51

Although  this  was  Heaven  17's  last  new  hit  , it  actually  arrested  a  steep  decline  in  their  fortunes. They  peaked  with  "Temptation"  which  reached  number  2  in  May  1983  and  two  more  Top  20  hits  followed  from  the  number  4  album  "The  Luxury  Gap".  Conventional  logic  said  they  should  tour  to  cement  this  new  popularity  but  the  guys  stuck  to  their  business  model  which  reckoned  that  going  out  on  the  road  was  unnecessary.   Instead  the  guys  took  time  out  to  help  Tina  Turner  re-launch  her  career  with Let's  Stay  Together. Martyn  co-produced  it  and  he  and  Glenn  provided  backing  vocals  both  on  the  record  and  when  she  performed  it  on  The  Tube.  The  following  year's  "How  Men  Are"  LP  peaked  at  number  12  and  failed  to  yield  a  Top  20  single. The  consequences  of  not  consolidating  a  loyal  fanbase  were  becoming  apparent.  As  we saw,  their  collaboration  with  Jimmy  Ruffin  failed  to  chart  and  their  first  single  from  the  album  "Pleasure  One"  also  flopped . Accordingly  the  album, released  in  November  1986  , peaked  at  a  lowly  78.

"Trouble"  was  the  second  single  from  the  album .  It's  an  upbeat  number  by  their  standards  and  the  prominence  of  a  funky  guitar  throughout  and  a  rock  guitar  solo  towards  the  end   shows  they  were  trying  to  broaden  their  sound. It's  a  decent  little  tune  which  covers  familiar  themes  of   casting  a  relationship  in  political  terms -  "The  trouble's  double  now  we're  fighting  for  two"  which  singer  Glen  Gregory  delivers  in  his  usual,  rather  stiff  tones. It  probably  helped  that  it  was  released  during  the  post-Christmas  lull.

They  decided  not  to  release  a  third  single  from  the  album  perhaps  because  Martyn  Ware   was  too  busy  producing  the  debut  LP  for  a  singer  who  will  pop  up  soon  enough. Their  next  release  was  the  single,  "The  Ballad  of  Go  Go  Brown"  in  August  1988.  The  strangest  release  of  their  career  it  paired  up  electronic  dance  rhythms  with  Spaghetti  Western  guitar  and  harmonica  and  a  shaggy  dog  story  about  some  modern  day   outlaw , something  like  Art  of  Noise  meets  Jimmy  Dean's  Big  Bad  John . Although   it's  not  got  the  worst  chorus  of  their  singles,  nobody  really  knew  what  to  make  of  it  and  it  failed  to  escape  the  Bubbling  Under  section.

The  album  it  heralded  was  "Teddy  Bear, Duke  &  Psycho" . I've  heard  most  of  it ( though  not  unfortunately  the  third  single  "Snake  and  Two  People " )  and   nothing  really  connects.  You  can  hear  they're  trying  to  broaden  the  sound  whether  with  funk  guitar  or  Philly  strings  but  the  songs  aren't  there. Second  single  "Train  of  Love  In  Motion"  sounds  like  a  Blancmange  B-side  , what  little  melody  there  is  has  been  copped  from  California  Girls  and  the  lyrics  are  terrible. The  album  failed  to  chart  except  in  Germany  where  it  got  to  46.

Abandoned  by  Virgin, Heaven  17  were  put  on  ice  after  the  album's  failure. Glen  went  off  to  while  away  his  time  with  a  dance  band  called  Ugly  while  Martyn  put  together  another  volume  of  Music  of  Quality  and  Distinction  under  the  B.E.F.  name.  Ian  Craig  Marsh  was  not  involved  this  time  round.  The  first  volume  of  electronic  covers  with  guest  vocalists  in  1982  had  been  a  conspicuous  failure , only  reaching  number  25  and  failing  to  yield  any  hits, so  it  wasn't  clear  where  the  demand  for  a  second  helping  was  coming  from  and  it  didn't  chart. However  the  version  of  Sly  and  Family  Stone's  Family  Affair  recorded  with  Lalah  Hathaway  was  a  hit  when  released  as  a  single  reaching  number  37  in  1991.

In  1992  the  dance  trio  Brothers  in  Rhythm  got  hold  of  "Temptation"  and  the  resulting  remix  got  to  number  4  in  the  charts. This  prompted  an  album  of  remixes, Higher  and  Higher   which  reached  number  31. Remixes  of  both  "Facist  Groove  Thang"  and  "Penthouse  And  Pavement  "  were  released  as  singles  and  got  to  pretty  much  the  same  positions  they  did  the  first  time  round.  Heaven  17  would  not  trouble  either  chart  again.

In  1994  Martyn  produced  Erasure's  I  Say I  Say I  Say  album.

In  1996  they  released  a  new  album,  "Bigger  Than  America"  on  a  small  label.  The  synths  have  been  updated  ; Martyn's  time  with  Erasure  seems  to  have  been  well  spent. The  lyrics  veer  between  a  strong  vein  of  ant-Americanism  ( which  seems  a  bit  misplaced  in  the  middle  of  the  Clinton  years  )  and  the  confusion  of  men  approaching  middle  age .It's  a  stronger  set  than  the  previous  LP  and  the  two  singles  "Designing  Heaven"  and  "We  Blame  Love"  are  far  from  the  strongest  songs. It  does  rather  founder  on  a  perennial  weakness  , the  inflexibility  of  Glen's  voice. Potentially  moving  songs  like  "Maybe  Forever"  don't  quite  work  with  a  bloke  who  sings  like  a  Dalek. The  album  didn't  chart  and  I  wasn't  even  aware  of  it  at  the  time.

Martyn  then  started  work  on  a  surround  sound  auditorium  for  the  ill-fated  National  Centre  for  Popular  Music  in  Sheffield  which  opened  in  1999  and  closed  little  more  than  a year  later. The  whole  concept  was  flawed; pop  music  is  about  "now", it  doesn't  belong  in  a  museum. The  building  is  now  used  as  the  student  union  building  for  Sheffield  Hallam  University.

Also  in  1999  Martyn  teamed  up  with  Vince  Clarke  again   to  release  the  first  of  two  LPs  of  ambient  soundscaping  as  The  Clarke  and  Ware  Experiment. It  was  called  "Pretentious"    so  perhaps  it's  as  well  I  haven't  heard  it  and  was  specifically  composed  for  play  in  the  auditorium. It  was  followed  up  two  years  later  by  "Spectrum  Pursuit  Vehicle". The  two  would  continue  to  work  together  as  Illustrious  productions  and  started  presenting  their  work  on  3D  Sound  at  live  events  from  2004  onwards.

At  the  same  time  Heaven  17  were  appearing  in  eighties  revival  package  tours  alongside  the  likes  of  Kim  Wilde   and  Sonia, ironic  for  a  band  who'd  never  actually  graced  a  stage  during  that  decade. The  Human  League  were  also  involved  although  I  don't  know  if  the  two  bands  were  ever  on  the  same  bill.

In  2005  Heaven  17  released  their  last  album  of  new  material , "Before  After". It  could  well  be  their  best. As  you  would  expect  the  sound  reflects  contemporary  trends  in  electronic  music  but  at  last  it  seems  like  writing  decent  tunes  has  been  given  a  higher  priority  than  making  political  points  in  the  lyrics.  A  bit  of  Autotuning  and  judicious  use  of  backing  singer  Billie  Godfrey  also  helps  Glen  in  the  vocal  department   The  ( rather  belated )  first  single  "Hands  Up  To  Heaven", although  bearing  a  more  than passing resemblance  to  Groovejet  , is  possibly  the  best  pop  tune  they've  ever  written, at  least  since  "Temptation". Alas  there  was  no   chart  action   even  after  their  version  of  Blue  Oyster  Cult's  "Don't  Fear  The  Reaper " - acceptable  but  the  original  is  one  of  my  all  time  faves  - was  featured  in  racy  vampire  series  True  Blood.

In  2006  Ian  stopped  participating  without  warning  or  explanation  although it's easy  to  speculate  why. With  Clarke  having  effectively  replaced  him  as  Martyn's  preferred  musical  partner,  just  playing  the  oldies  on  stage  wouldn't  have  been  too  appealing. For  the  last  decade  his  whereabouts  have  been  a  mystery  but  he  was  thought  to  have  been  studying  at  Brighton  University  at  one  point.

In  December  2008  they  toured  with  The  Human  League  ( all  hostilities  had  now  ceased )  and  ABC  on  the  Steel  City  Tour  and  released  an  album  of  re-workings  plus  a  cover  of  The  Associates  Party  Fears  Two  done  as  a  piano  ballad  ( interesting  for  one  listen )  to  coincide.

In  December  2010  ( Good  Lord,  was  it  that  long  ago ? )  they  did  a  BBC  session  on  the  Red  Button  interactive  channel  with  La  Roux. Glen  doing  a  duet  of  "Come  Live  With  Me " with  young  Ellie  had  a  certain  creepy  vibe  as  he  himself  acknowledged. He  appeared  with  them  on  a  version  of  Temptation"  at  Glastonbury  that  summer. They  then  toured  "Penthouse  and  Pavement "  in  full  to  mark  its  30th  anniversary.

In  summer  2012  Mute  released  a  box  set  of  Martyn  and  Vince's  work  together.

Last  summer  some  of  my  friends  saw  them  at  the  Grassington  Festival  and  weren't  very  impressed.  In  the  autumn  they  recorded  a  version  of  Elton  John's  "Rocket  Man"  for  a  compilation  "*80s  Recovered " . Kate  Bush  did  it  better.