Saturday 7 May 2016

495 Goodbye Bernard Jewry* - Got A Little Heartache


( * as  Alvin Stardust )

Chart  entered : 23  March  1985

Chart  peak : 55

After  a  long  and  remarkable  chart  run  it  was  time  for  Bernard  to  say  goodbye. Shane  Fenton and  the  Fentones  had  quickly  run  aground  in  the  Beatles  era   after  chalking  up  six  hits  and split  up  in  1964. For  nearly  a  decade  he  was  out  of  the  spotlight  as  an  A & R  man  and  club performer  with  wife  Iris. Then  Peter  Shelley  ( the  other  one  )  asked  him  to  front  a  record  he had  recorded  as  "Alvin  Stardust"  called  "My  Coo-Ca-Choo"  which  was  already  climbing  the charts  in  December  1973. With  a  hastily  contrived  image  based  on  Gene  Vincent ,  Bernard appeared  on  Top  of  the  Pops  despite  having  nothing  to  do  with  the  record. Tony  Blackburn was  the  first  person  to  recognise  him  as  the  former  Shane  Fenton. The  record  was  kept  off the  top  spot  by  Slade  but  the  identikit  follow-up  "Jealous  Mind"  got  to  number  one  in  1974. For  a  short  time  Alvin   ( as  we'll  now  call  him )  was  a  big  star  and  did  a  series  of  Green Cross  Code  commercials  but  glam  was  already  on  the  turn  and  his  run  of  hits  apparently petered  out  in  1975. Magnet  dropped  him  in  1977  but  four  years  later  he  was  picked  up  by Stiff, looking  to  ride  on  the  coat-tails  of  Shakin'  Stevens' success. His  rock  and  roll  version  of Nat  King  Cole's  "Pretend"  reached  number  4  in  1981  but  he  only  managed  to  give  Stiff  one more  minor  hit  from  five  subsequent  singles. In  1984  he  signed  with  Chrysalis  and  rewarded them  with  four  more  hits  of  which  this  was  the  last. He  was  helped  by  tabloid  interest  in his relationship  with  actress  Liza  Goddard.

"Got  A  Little  Heartache "  was  written  by  the   Graham  Lyle / Terry  Britten  partnership  and  produced  by  Shaky's  producer  Stuart  Colman.  It's  a  pleasant  enough  pop  rock  track  with  a  Motown  backbeat  and  some  surprisingly  good  guitar  work  from  Dave  Edmunds  . It  does  take  a  bit  too  long  to  get  to    the   chorus   which  is  probably  why  it  didn't  get  much  airplay  and  was  only  a  minor  hit.

Alvin  was  then  guilty  of  a  dreadful  error  of  judgement . He  was  talked  into  performing  a  song  at  the  British  heat  for  Eurovision. With  little  to  gain  and  much  to  lose - by  this  time  the  British  finalist   wasn't  guaranteed  a  sizable  hit  but  the  losers  in  the  heat  were  guaranteed  for obscurity  - Alvin  came  third , the  winner  being  the  instantly  forgettable  Love  Is "  by  Vikki.  The  song  "Clock  On  The  Wall "  is  a  vacuous  12  bar  blues  sounding  like  Shaky  fronting  Status  Quo  but  it  was  fit  for  purpose  and  Alvin  was  head  and  shoulders  above  every  one  else  in  terms  of  public  profile. Perhaps  the  voting  public  thought  that  was  unfair  and  punished  him  accordingly.

Chrysalis  recognised  the  disaster  and  halted  the  pressing  of  the  single  - it  eventually  came  out  as  part  of  a  double  pack  with  the  re-released  "So  Near  To  Christmas" later  that  year.   He  released  another  song  by  the  same  writers  "Sleepless  Nights"  in  June  but  I  never  heard  it  and  I  don't  think  many  other  people  did  either.

Alvin  then  found  God  and  joined  the  cast  of  the  Rock  Gospel  TV  show  , releasing  the duet  "I  Hope  And  I  Pray"  with  Christian  singer  Sheila  Walsh  ( she'd  later  have  a  minor  hit  with  Cliff ) . It's  unbearable  jollity   sets  my  teeth  on  edge  and  Barry  Blue's  bombastic  Fairlight   noises  certainly  sounds  like  the  devil's   work to  me.

Alvin's  last  release  for  Chrysalis  "Just  Like  Lovers " was  fittingly  sneaked  out  under  a  nom  de  plume , The  Jury  ( see  what  he  did  there  ? )  but  the  verdict  was  another  miss.

Alvin  almost  certainly  realised  by  now  that  his  time  as  a  top  pop  star  was  over  and  he  was  already  getting  into  musical  theatre.  Magnet  sentimentally  let  him  cut  a  last  single  for  them  "Jailhouse  Rock  ( The  Coming  Out  Mix ) "  in  October  1986. Over  three  years  elapsed  before  "Christmas"  a  Betjeman  poem  and  a  collaboration  with  Mike Read  (!! )  slipped  out  on  a  tiny  label. He  also  presented  a  children's  magazine  programme,  It's  Stardust  Time   in  1989.

As  the  decade  turned  Alvin  decided  to  go  down  the  Gary Glitter  route  - only  in  his  professional  life  I  must  add  - and  turn  his  concerts  into  a  full  blown  pantomime  act  , tottering  about  on  ridiculous  heels  with  a  monster  quiff  wig. He  nearly  came  a  cropper  when  he  collapsed  on  stage  in  1994. Reports  vary  on  the  cause  ; some  say  a  firecracker  went  off  near  his  face  and  he  over-balanced  in  pulling  away  from  it  while  Alvin  himself  said  he fainted  through  the  heat  in  the  wig  and  being  elevated  to  near  the  lighting  rig.

Thankfully  Alvin  recovered  to  take  part  in   Channel  Four's  Glam  Top  10   and  release  a  comedy  version  of  "My  Coo-Ca-Choo"  with  Jo  Brand  which  sank  like  a  stone. Is  there  anything  sadder  than  a  comedy  record  that  nobody  buys  ?  Well  yes  there  is  but  we'll  get  to  that  in  a  moment.

Alvin  continued  to  tour  although  failing  health  curtailed  his  schedule  after  being  diagnosed  with  prostate  cancer  at  the  beginning  of  2013.  Alvin  very  nearly  died  with  his  platform   boots  on  as  he  passed  away  just   a  day  after  his  final  concert  at  Evesham   in   October  2014  aged  72. It  turned  out  that   our  man  had  one  more  new  guise  to  pull  off   from  beyond  the  grave  as  he  had  a  posthumous  album  ready  to  go.  "Alvin "  is  an  album  of   slow  sombre  tunes   with  our  man  largely  sticking   to  a  deep  growl  although  his   voice  stayed  in  pretty  good  nick  to  the  end.  Alvin  sounds  like  he's  been  listening  to  Scott  Walker,  The  The  and  Tom  Waits   but  most  of  all  Johnny  Cash . Mr  Rubin, you  have  a  lot  to  answer  for !  There  was  genuine  grief  at  Alvin's  passing  but  this  didn't  stretch  to  buying  his  final  musical  testament.



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