388 Goodbye Darts- White Christmas / Sh-boom

Chart  entered : 29  November  1980

Chart  peak : 48

As  D.C.  pointed  out  in  the  Comments  recently , both  Ultravox  and  The  Human  League  "suffered" splits  that  ultimately  benefitted  all  parties. Unfortunately  that  didn't  happen  with  Darts. When  bass  singer  Den  Hegarty  left  in  the  autumn  of  1978  after  three  successive  number  two  hits   to  care  for  his  terminally  ill  father  it  was  a  body  blow  and  they  never  returned  to  the  top  5.  He  gave  them  an  edge. Although  adequately  replaced  vocally  by  American  Kenny  Andrews  , without  Den's  manic  stage  presence  out  front  they  seemed  just  another  act  competing  for  the  revivalist  pound  with  Showaddywaddy, Matchbox  and  Shaky.  Pianist  Hammy  Howell   quit  to  study  classical  music  and  was  replaced  by  former  Vinegar  Joe  keyboard  player  Mike  Deacon  during  1979.  At  the  start  of  1980   guitarist  George  Currie  and  drummer  John   Dummer  quit  after  their  cover  of  "Reet  Petite"  failed  to  reach  the  Top  40. They  were  replaced  by  ex -Mud  man  Rob  Davis  and  Keith  Gotheridge  who  had  been  with  pub  rockers  Plummet  Airlines  who  put  out  a  couple  of  singles  on  Stiff  in  1976; the  second  one  "It's  Hard"  is  worth  checking  out  if  you  like  The  Motors  or  TRB.   The  band  rallied  to  make  number  11  with  a  cover  of  "Let's  Hang  On"  in  the  summer  of  1980  but  "Peaches"  stiffed  at  66  a  couple  of  months  later.

Darts's  final  single  to  chart  was  this  pair  of  covers, a  straight  reading  of  the  original  doo-wop  tune  "Sh-boom"  which  they  had  previously  recorded  with  Den  on  the  Amazing  Darts  album  in  1978   and  a  Wizzard-like  rock n roll  treatment  of  "White  Christmas".  (  By  the  way  they're  not  the  only  act  to  exit  the  charts  with  this  song  ). Both  sides  are  mildly  enjoyable  but  thoroughly  inessential.

Bob  Fish   who  did  most  of  the  male  lead  vocals  then  quit  the  band  to  get  married  and  had  to  be  replaced  with  Stan  Alexander. Mike  too  left  and  was  replaced  by  Jimmy  Compton.  Still  the  band  stuttered  on  and  released  their  next  single  "Jump  Children  Jump" in  June  1981, a  lively  cover  of  a  1940s  swing  tune  which  got  lost  amid  the  competition , now  including  The  Stray  Cats, Coast  To  Coast  and  Joe  Jackson.

Magnet  now  believed  they  were  finished  and  closed  their  account with  a  re-release  of  "The Boy  From  New  York City"  backed  by  "Come  Back  My  Love". Rob  departed  and  was  replaced  by  Keith's  former  bandmate  Duncan  Kerr.  After  a  fruitless  tour  of  the  States  they  branched  into  musical  theatre  appearing  alongside  a  young  Paul  McGann  in  the  musical  "Yakety  Yak"  which  ran  for  around  four  months  over  1982-83.

It  success  allowed  Darts  to  set  up  their  own  label  Choice  cuts   but  they  were  really  just prolonging  the  agony.  Stan  was  replaced  by  Pikey  Butler  and  their    next  single  in  April  1983  was  sax  player  Nigel  Trubridge's   Latin-flavoured  "Mystery  of  Ragoula". Sounding  not  unlike  Kid  Creole  and  the  Coconuts  it  was  certainly  a  move  towards  a  more  contemporary  sound  but  Griff  Fender's  voice  wasn't  really  suited  to  the  material.  "Lorraine"  in  July  saw  them  adopting  a   calypso  sound  but  any  chance  it  had  was  shot  down  by  their  own  hamfisted  production. Next  came  an  EP  of  songs  from  the  musical  which  I  haven;'t  heard  followed  by  the  all  too  appropriate  "Can't  Teach  A  Fool"  written  by  Pikey  Butler  who  had  replaced  Stan. I  presume he's  the  Neil  Sedaka  soundalike   doing  the  lead  vocal  on  the  single  which  sounds  like  a  second  rate  mod  revival  act  like  The  Truth  or   Big  Sound  Authority.

In  1984  Rita  Ray  resumed lead  vocal  duties   on  an  awful  doo  wop treatment   of  The Young  Rascals'  "Groovin"  and  you  can  almost  hear  the  scraping  of  the  barrels.  They  then  backed  Alison  Moyet  on  the  B-side  of  her  hit  Invisible. Their  final  single  which  I  haven't  heard  was  "Blow  Away"  at  the  beginning  of  1985.  The  band  then  finally  realised  the game  was  up  and  called  it  a  day.

What  in  the  meantime  had  happened  to  Den ?  After  the  death  of  his  father  he  launched  a career  as  a  solo  artist  in  February  1979  with  "Voodoo  Voodoo"  an  old  Lavern  Baker  number. It  sounds  like  an  old  Swinging  Lord  Sutch  number  with  Den's  Big  Bad  John  vocals   not  exactly  a  plus. If  he'd  got  on  to  Top  of  the  Pops  again  things  might  have  worked  out  differently  but  alas  the  single  stiffed  at  number  73.

Den  then  worked  briefly  on  a  Tyne  Tees  pop  show  Alright  Now   as  host   but  the  bosses  thought  he  was  out  of  control  and  fired  him. In  April 1980  he  had  a  second  crack  at  recording  with  a  version  of  Lee  Dorsey's  "Working  In  A  Coalmine"  produced  by  Godley  and  Creme  and  released  under  the  name  "Big  Den  and  the  Random  Band".  It  sounds  not  unlike  The  Flying  Lizards   but  only  emphasises  that   Den's  not  your  man  for  a  lead  vocal.

In  September  1981  he got  a  bigger TV  break  as  a  presenter  on  the  final  series  of  Tiswas.  The  show  was  in  trouble  anyway  with  Chris  Tarrant  and  Lenny  Henry  gone  to  the  ill-fated  O.T.T.  but  Den  didn't  help  matters. Though  he  lasted  the  distance  he  was  exposed  as  something  of  a  one  trick  pony.  He  had  one  more  shot  with  a  single  "The  Big  Country"  in  January  1982  which  I  haven't  heard  and   it  marked the  end  of  his  recording  career. For  the  rest  of  the  eighties  he  worked  as  a  quiz  master  on  minor  cable  channels  and  a  voiceover  artist  on  animated  TV  ads.  In  the  nineties  he  tired  of  the  entertainment  industry  and  starte  working  for  the  Citizen's  Advice  Bureau  before  becoming  a  lecturer  in  psychology  at  Exeter  College. He  still  does  some  singing  with  part-time  bands  and  is  usually  up  for  one-off  Darts  reunion  shows.

Hammy  fell  into  depression  after  his  mother's  death  and  became  grossly  overweight , eventually  moving  into  sheltered  accommodation  in  Torquay  where  he  gave  some  piano  lessons. He  died  of  a  heart  attack  in  1999.

George  moved  back  to  Dundee  and  became  a  music  teacher. He  is  apparently  a  keen  hill  walker.

John  initially  went  back  to  the  blues  playing  on  albums  by  Lowell  Fulsom  and  Eddie  C Campbell  but  then  got  a  deal  with  A  & M  to  record  with  his  wife  Helen  April  sometimes  as  a  duo  and  sometimes  as  part  of  a  group  formed  with  displaced  Squeeze  bassist  Harry  Kakoulli   called  True  Life  Confessions. In  either  guise  John  showed  his  missus  off  as  if  she  was  a  porn  star  and  their  whole  act  was  based  on  smut. As  Record  Mirror  ungallantly  put  it   "on  stage  she  reveals  nipples  that  are  even  smaller  than  her  talent".  

Their  first  single  as  a  duo  in  January  1981  was  "Own  Up  If  You're  Over  25 "  one  of  those  lists  of  cultural  touchstones  like  Life  Is  A  Rock  and  We  Didn't  Start  The  Fire   set  to  a  Bo  Diddley  rhythm. She  just  talks  her  way  through  it  and  he  shows  why  he  wasn't  part  of  the  Darts  front line. It's  one  of  those  amusing  for  a  couple  of  plays  records.

The  first   group  single  was  "Supersonic"  which  I  haven't  heard  but  I  note  John  is  dangling  a  water  pistol  in  front  of   Helen's  crotch  on  the  cover. The  next  duo  single  "Housewife's  Choice" had  in  her  bra  and  panties  with  John  pulling  her  jeans  off.  Helen  sort  of  raps  the  song  which  declares  she's  only  in  the  marriage  for  sex. Later  on  you  get  whipping  noises.
The  next  True  Life  Confessions  single  was  a  cover  of  "Banana  Split"  a  1979  French  number  one  about  oral  sex  by  Belgian  teenager  Lio. They  replace  the  electro-pop  backing  with  surf  guitar  and  heavy  percussion  and  it's  actually  sung  by  the  Afro-French  backing  singers  rather  than  Helen  so  it  ends  up  sounding  like  The  Belle  Stars.

Next  up  in  May 1982  was  the  rather  belated  "Mother's  Day  at  the  Marquee"  EP  with  Helen's  boobs  on  the  front  cover  ( and  yes  they're  not  very  big )  and  12  pairs  of  unidentified  female  buttocks  on  the  back.  It  was  too  much  for  A &M  and  their  future  releases  were  on  Speed  Records.  In  August  the  duo  actually  had  a  minor  hit  with  a  weird  half- spoken  jazz  version  of  Irving  Berlin's  "Blue Skies"  which  has  some  pretty  good  sound  effects. It  reached  number  54.  True  Life  Confessions'  version  of  David  Seville's  "Witch  Doctor"  came  and  went  in  the  autumn.

In  April  1983 they  released  both  "King  Wonderful"  as  a  duo  and  the  final  TLC  single  "Don't  Call  Me  Chickenhead"  a  totally  bizarre mix  of  Bow  Wow Wow,  Belle  Stars  and  Celtic  hoedown  that's  so  bad  it's  a  perverse  classic. The  chorus  had  a  long  afterlife  in  adapted  form  as  a  jingle  for  both  Andy  Peebles  and  Dave  Lee  Travis.

John  then  switched  his  attentions  to  managing  the  highly-rated  but  under-achieving  Screaming  Blue  Messiahs  for  three  years  before  relocating  to  France  where  he  has  worked  as  a  furniture  restorer, property  developer   and  antiques  trader. In  recent  years  he  has published  a  couple  of  books  on  his  life  there. He  still  drums  with  local  bands  but  I  don't  think  he's  been  involved  in  the  Darts  reunions.

Bob  re-emerged  as  a  solo  artist   in  October  1981   with  a  single  "No  Chance"  produced  and  arranged  by  Andy  Hill  , the  man  behind  Bucks  Fizz  and  you  can  tell. Bob's  in  good  voice  but  the  song  is  smothered  by the  production  and  the  drum  sound  is  terrible. The  follow  up  "Hotel" from  1982  veers  between  florid  piano  ballad  and  brash  synth  pop  and  is  a  bit  of  a  dog's  dinner  despite  another  good  vocal  performance.  In  the  early  nineties  he  put  together  a  Darts  II  line  up  for  touring purposes.    After  that  he  became  an  expert  on  the  autoharp  and  went  off  to  America  to  teach  the  instrument.  

Mike  went  on  to  play  some  keyboards  for  Roman  Holliday  and  Roy  Wood.

Bassist  Iain  "Thump"  Thomson  plays  and  records  with  Dave  Kelly, formerly  of  the  Blues  Band.

Nigel  ( aka  Horatio  Hornblower )  joined  a  band  called  Hitlist  who  were  signed  to  Virgin  but  had  the  misfortune  to  release  their  debut  single  "Into  the  Fire"  at  the  time  of  the  Bradford  fire.  It  isn't  actually  very  good , just    typically  vacuous, overproduced  mid-eighties  pop  rock  with  a  mediocre  vocal  and  no  tune. After  one  more  single  "OK  For  You"  the  following  year  they  were  dropped. Nigel  went  into  A&  R  work .

We've  covered Rob  of  course  in  the Mud  post. Keith  was  last  heard  of  playing  in  a band  called  Shining  Examples  in  the  noughties.

Rita  and  Griff  continued  working  together  as  co-managers  of  the  vocal  group  Mint  Juleps  who  had  a  couple  of  minor  hits  in  the  mid-eighties  including  a  version  of  "Every  Kinda People"   produced  by  Trevor  Horn  which  I've  got.  Griff  went  on  to  study  music  business  management  at  the  University  of  Westminster  and  currently  works  for  the  Oily  Cart Theatre  Company. Rita  became  a  DJ  in  Brixton  and  a  broadcaster  for  the  BBC  World  Service  since  1998.

Griff,  Rita  and  Den  are  the  main  players  in  the  Darts  reunions.