605 Hello Roachford - Cuddly Toy

Chart  entered  :  18  June  1988

Chart  peak : 61 ( 4  on  re-release  in  1989 )

Number  of  hits : 12

With  Prince  taking  up  the  baton  dropped  by  Hendrix ,  the  late  eighties  saw  a  number  of  black  performers  entering  the  world  of  rock.

Like  Alice  Cooper  and  Toyah, Roachford  were  actually  a  group, formed  around  singer-songwriter  Andrew  Roachford ( born  1965)  who  also  played  keyboards. The  line  up  was  completed  by  Hawi  Gondwe ( guitar ), Derrick  Taylor  ( bass )  and  Chris  Taylor ( drums ). The  following  year  they  secured  support  slots  with  Terence  Trent  D'Arby  and  The  Christians  and  were  signed  by  Columbia.

In  February  1988  they  released  their  first  single "Family  Man"  , an  over-produced  ( by  veteran  blues  man  Mike  Vernon )  stilted    rock  funk  number  with  awful  lyrics  - "Never  had  no  money  but  you  lived  like  the  rich, poncing  all  your  money  off  some  poor  bitch" - addressed  to  some   badass  guy  settling  down  to  family  life. There  are  no  hooks  and  the  song  runs  out  of  ideas  half  way  through  in  a  mess  of  squally  synth  noise  and  timewasting  ad  libs. It  didn't  chart  but  became  their  second  hit  on  re-release  reaching  number  25.

"Cuddly  Toy"  was  their  second  release. It's  a  bit  tidier  with  a  decent  bass  line  and  a  guitar  riff  that  sounds  like  Money  For  Nothing  but  in  truth  not  that  much  better. Andrew's  vocal  is  too  strident  to  make  the  self-pitying  lyric  ring  true  and  the  bludgeoning  chorus  is  ugly. Plus  there's  more  horrible  synth  sounds  to  endure. It's  their  only  Top  20  hit  here  and  their  only  hit  in  the  US  but  if  you  want  an   example  of  major  label  mediocrity  from  this  period  this  is  a  good  place  to  start.