527 Goodbye Chas and Dave* - Snooker Loopy

* ( Matchroom  Mob  with .... )

Chart  entered : 3 May 1986

Chart  peak : 6

After  seven  years  it  was  time  to  bid  farewell  to  the  singing  cockneys  ( except see  below ).

Chas  and  Dave  peaked  in  1982  when  their  ballad  "Ain't  No Pleasing  You"  reached  number 2  but  leaner  times  followed  very quickly  and  this  was  their  first  hit  in  three  years. It's  perhaps  a  measure  of  their  diminished  status  that  they  accepted  second  billing  on  this  single despite  doing  the  lion's  share  of  the  work  on  it.

So  who  on  earth  were  the  Matchroom  Mob ? They  were  the  professional  snooker  players   who  had  signed  up  to  the  management  of  megalomaniac  sports promoter  Barry  Hearn. Hearn had  been  manager  of  Steve " Interesting"  Davis  since  1976  and,  along  with  second  division player  Tony  Meo ,  they  had  set  up  Matchroom  as  a  management  company  in  the  early eighties. Since  then  three  more  top  pros  had  signed  up, Dennis  Taylor, Terry  Griffiths  and Willie  Thorne  and  it's  that  quintet  that  performs  on  this , a self-promoting  marketing  device masquerading  as  a  novelty  single  to  coincide  with  the  1986  World  Championship  when  the game , commercially  at  least, was  at  its  zenith.

Mike  Gardner  in  Record  Mirror  nailed  this  in  a  review  so  good  it's  worth  repeating  in  full :

The  professional   Cockneys  take  on  Steve   "Interesting"  Davis  and  his   chums. This  is  a  mildly  amusing  seaside  postcard  ditty  but  where's  Tony  Knowles,   Alex  "Hurricane"  Higgins  and  Kirk  Stevens ?  Obviously  having  a  lot  more   more  fun  with  various  combinations  of  the  seven  deadly  sins.

For  those  who  weren't  around  at  the  time  the  sins  in  questions  were, sex , booze  and  cocaine respectively.

Besides  reminding  us  of  a  faraway  time  when  snooker  players  were  top  tabloid  fodder, Mike  also  identifies  another  problem  with  the  record. The  "Matchroom  Mob"  were  good at their  sport   but  not  its  most  charismatic  stars  and  Chas  and  Dave  are  hard  put to  find anything   funny  about  them. So  Meo  is  over-emotional  when  he  wins  ( which  wasn't  often ) , Taylor wears silly  glasses, Thorne  is  bald  and  Griffiths  had  a  new  haircut - hilarious. As  for  the terminally  boring  Davis,  he  gets  a  boastful  line  about  Hearn  sewing  up  the  field  which thankfully  was  immediately  exploded  when  rank  outsider  Joe  Johnson  beat  Davis  in  that  year's  Final. All  five  of  them  appear  to  be  tone-deaf  - Meo's  line  is  particularly  painful.

"Snooker  Loopy"  is  hauntingly  awful; once  heard  it  can  never  be  entirely  erased  from  the  memory  bank. If  any  song  deserved  to  end  a  chart  career  it's  this  one. They  quickly  followed  it  up  with  another  topical  song "Halley's  Comet ", which  I  haven't  heard, but  just  as  the  celestial  object  failed  to  appear  to  the  naked  eye  so the  single  failed  to  materialise  in  the  charts. They  did  get  a  hit  album  at  the  end  of  the  year  when  "Christmas  Carol  Album"  reached  number  37

In  March  1987  they  got  back  together  with  the  'Mob  ( now  expanded  to  include  Jimmy  White  and  the  less  than  stellar  Neal  Foulds ) to  record  a  follow  up  single  "The  Romford  Rap". I couldn't  actually  say  it's  worse  than  "Snooker  Loopy "  but  the   public  didn't bite  twice  and  it  disappeared  without  trace. The  lads  were  quickly  back  in  action  to  write  another  FA  Cup  single  for  Spurs ,"Hot  Shot  Tottenham"  which  reached  number  18. Although  their  involvement  was  no  less  than  on  the  earlier  collaborations,  "Ossie's  Dream"  and  "Tottenham  Totttenham"  they  were not  credited as  artists  on  the  single.Perhaps  they  had  a  premonition  that  Coventry  City  were  going  to  beat  the  lads  from  White  Hart  Lane.

At  the  end  of  the  year  they  released  the  single  "Flying"  a  sentimental  piano  ballad  ( re-worked  from  a  1982  instrumental  track ) trailing  an  album  of  the  same  name.  Both  flopped.  Subsequent  singles   from  the  album "The  Diddlum  Song"  a  characteristically  silly  novelty   song  and  the  woozy  country  ballad  "I  Can  Get  Along  Without  You "  failed  to  turn  things  around.

Once  we  got  into  the  nineties,  new  material  from  the  duo  became   very   sporadic  although  they  remained  a  popular  live  act.  In  1991  they  confused everyone  by  recording  two  FA  Cup  Final  songs  on  different  labels, both  equally awful  , "When  The  Year  Ends  In  1"  and  "The  Victory  Song". The  former  got  to  number  44  and  at  least  some  copies  credited  the  duo  but  the   record  books  don't. Perhaps  they  were  excised  for recording  the  alternative  song ?

Later  that  year  they  released  their last  single for  a  decade  with  the  nostalgic  "When  Days Were  Long  "  which  utilises   lots  of  strings  and  an  Abba-like  piano  melody. In  1995  they reached  number  3  in  the  album  charts  with  a  rock  and  roll  medley  album  "Street  Party", their  last  LP  for  18  years.

At  the  turn  of  the  millennium  they  appeared  to  be  completely  washed  up - God  knows  who  wanted  a  remix  of  "Snooker  Loopy"  in  2001 - but  in  recent  years  they've  enjoyed  something  of  a  re-appraisal. In  2003  and  2004  they  were  invited  to  be  the  support  act  to  The  Libertines  at  a  couple  of  gigs  in  London. Following  on  from  that  they  appeared  at  Glastonbury  in  2005.   Chas  Hodges  published  his  autobiography  in  2008. The  following  year  Dave  Peacock  announced  his  intention  to  retire  following  the  death  of  his  wife  but  he  later  changed  his  mind. Original  drummer  Mick  Burt  did  retire  in  2011  ( he  died  in  2014 )  and  was  replaced  by  Chas's  son  Nick.

In  2013 , following  a   successful  tour  and  BBC  Four  documentary  they  made  a  new  album  "That's  What  Happens"  on  Warner  Brothers  which  highlights  their  musicianship  on  a   set  of  blues  covers  and  re-workings  with  the  superfluous  assistance  of  Jools  Holland  and  Hugh Laurie. The  single  "When  Two  Worlds  Collide"  sounds  like  a  re-write  of    "Ain't  No  Pleasing  You" ( itself  present  as  an  acoustic  re-working ). Chas's  voice  is  showing  signs  of  age  but  on  this  sort  of   material  it  doesn't  really  matter.  The  album  made  number  25  in  the  charts. The  duo  are  still  active  so  there  might  be  more  to  come.  

526 Hello Inxs- What You Need

Chart  entered  :  19  April  1986

Chart  peak : 51

Number  of  hits  : 25

I  always  felt  this  lot  were  not   far  away  from  being  a  really  good  group  but  never  quite  managed  it.

The  origins  of  Inxs  go  back  to  1971  when  two  Sydney  school  mates  guitarist  Tim  Farriss  and  multi-instrumentalist  Kirk  Pengilly   formed   a  band  called  Guinness.  Guinness  played  a  mixture  of  prog  rock  and  country  rock  with  Kirk  being  principal  writer  and  lead  singer. Guinness  built  up  a  reasonable  following  in  Sydney  but  were  never  recorded  and  split  up  in  1976  partly  due  to  Tim  being  incapacitated  by  an  operation  to  remove  abnormal  bone  growth  in  his  legs . That  same  year  his  younger  brother  Andrew  who  played  the  piano  formed  a  band  called  Doctor  Dolphin  which  included  his  school  friend  Michael  Hutchence  as  lead  vocalist  and  a  friend  from  a  nearby  school  Garry  Beers   on  bass. Once  Tim  had    recovered  he  invited  Andrew, Michael  and  Garry  to  join  he , Kirk  and  younger  brother  Jon  , a  drummer  in  a  new  band  to  be  called  The  Farriss  Brothers. In  1978  they  switched  their  operations  to  Perth  following  the  Farriss  family's  move  there  and  briefly  re-christened  themselves  The  Vegetables.  When  they  returned  to  Sydney  in  1979  they  fell  under  the  sway  of  Midnight  Oil's  manager  Gary  Morris  and  it  was  he  who  suggested  the   name  change  to  Inxs , partly  influenced  by  XTC.  Morris  had  the  strange  notion  of  them  being  a  Christian  band  , an  idea  they  rejected  so  he  passed  them  on  to  a  friend  Chris  Murphy. Murphy  became  their  manager  and  got  them  a  deal  with  Deluxe  Records.

They  released  their  first  single  in  Australia  in  May  1980.  To  judge  from  "Simple  Simon ",  it  seems  that  XTC  influenced  more  than  their  name  with  Michael  sounding  a  lot  like  Andy  Partridge  and  Andrew's  synth  work  owing   more  than  a  little  to  Barry  Andrews   ( although  he  impersonated  The  Specials'  Jerry  Dammers  when  they  performed  it  on  TV ). The  jerky  New  Wave  rhythms  likewise  recall  early  XTC  or  Devo. The  third  person  narrative  about  a  loser  finding  love  suggests  Elvis  Costello. It's  not  a  great  song  once  you've  spotted  all  the  influences.

The  band  combined  recording  their  debut  LP  with  slogging  it  around  the  Sydney  pub  circuit  playing  on  average  two  gigs  a  day. Their  next  single  "Just  Keep  Walking "  came  out  in  September  1980.  The  lyric  seems  to  be  an  amalgam  of   Warm  Leatherette  and  In  Every  Dream  Home  A  Heartache    but   there's  a  purpose  and  drive  to  the  song  which  wasn't  there  on  the  previous  single  and  it  gave  them  their  first  hit  on  the  Australian  chart  at  number  38.
A  year  later  it  was  their  first  single  release  in  the  UK  on  RCA  and  many  years  later  would  form  the  basis  of   their  final  hit  but  we'll  come  to  that  ( much ) later.

Their  eponymous  debut  LP  came  out  in  the  autumn  of  1980. It  sounds  like  a  demonstration  record  for  all  the  sounds  that  came  under  the  "new  wave"  banner  at  the  time  from  synth  pop  to  Bad   Manners. Inxs  don't  bring  much  to  the  party. Besides  "Just  Keep  Walking", "In  Vain"  and  "Learn  To  Smile"  show  hints   of  promise  but  other  songs  sound  at  best  half-formed; the  likes  of  "Roller  Skating", "Doctor "  and  "Body  Language"  consist  of  little  more  than  shouting  the  title  for  a  chorus. It  made  the  Top  30  in  Australia.

In  May  1981  they  made  the Oz Top 20  with  a  cover of  "The  Loved One " a number  2  hit  in  their  homeland  in  1966  for  R & B band  The  Loved  Ones  but  little  known  elsewhere.  Inxs  give it  a  raw  bluesy  treatment  but  it  doesn't  do  much  for  me. Sensing  they  might  be  onto  something , Deluxe  put  them  back  in  the  studio  with the  single's  producer  Richard  Clapton  to  record  a  second  album.

The  lead  single  was "Stay  Young"  which  wastes  a  great  riff  on  an  awful  ska-based  song. It  made  the  Australian  charts  peaking  at  21. The  album  came  out  just  afterwards  and  is  little  better  than  their  debut. "Fair  Weather  Ahead"  and  the  closer  "Just  To  Learn  Again" are  let  down  by  a  continued  inability  to  write  a  good  chorus   but  most  of  the  songs  are  rubbish  all  the  way  through  including  the  tunelesss  title  track  released  as  a single  in  New  Zealand. Elsewhere, the  follow  up  single  was  "Night  of  Rebellion"  which  sounds  like  David  Sylvian  singing  with  The  Stray  Cats  and  is  scarcely  any  better.  The  album  outperformed  its  predecessor  by  reaching  number  15  in  the  Australian  charts.

Murphy  was  now  convinced  Deluxe  were  holding  them  back  and  got  the  band  to  record  a  demo  at  their  own  expense with  producer  Mark  Opitz. It  worked. Inxs  got  a  deal  with  WEA  and  released  the  song, "The  One  Thing"  as  their  next  single  in  1982. It's  a  loud  dance  rock  number , a  bit  like  Duran  Duran  if  Andy  Taylor  had  been  allowed  a  bit  more  influence  on  their  sound. It's vacuous  but its  just  about  serviceable  chorus  was enough  to  get  it  to  number  14  in  0z..The  album  which  followed  "Shabooh  Shoobah"  shows  some  improvement  in  their  songwriting  and  the  next  two  singles  were  their  best  yet. "Don't  Change" ( Oz  number  15 )  is  like   a  good  Flock  of  Seagulls  track  with  a  decent  singer   while  "To  Look  At  You  ( Oz  number  36 )  is  a  moody  synth  rocker  that  sounds  very  like  compatriots  Icehouse. Both  songs  show  a  sharpening  grasp  of  melody  and  the  latter  being  an  Andrew  Farriss  solo  composition  suggests  he  was  the  source  of  it. The  rest  of  the  album  is mediocre  including  fourth  single  "Black  And  White"  ( Oz  number  24 )  but  it  reached  number  5  in  Australia.

In  March  1983  the  band  went  over  to  the  US  to  play  a  number  of  support  gigs. That  plus  MTV  got  "The  One  Thing"   into  the  US  charts  where  it  reached  number  30. Despite  it   getting  Single  of  the  Fortnight  in  Smash  Hits, Britain  remained  resistant  for  now. "Don't  Change"  got  to  number  80  in  the  US  and  the  album  reached  number  46. Gary  Grant , their  tour  manager,  became  based  in  New  York  as  a  result. The  band  were  playing  a  new  song about  inter-racial  tensions  and  before  they  left  the  States , were  invited  to  record  it  with  Nile  Rodgers  in  New  York. The  result  was  "Original  Sin", a  sleek  dance  rock  number with  the  killer  chorus  that  had  previously  eluded  them. The  high  voice  accompanying  Michael  on  that  chorus  belongs  to  Daryl  Hall  who  had  been  called  up  by  Rodgers. Hall  later  said  generously that  he  thought  his  contribution  was  superfluous. Released  at  the  end  of  1983  it  disappointingly  peaked  at  58  in the  US  but  made  number  one  in  both  Australia  and  France. It  was  also  their  first  single  to  get  some  air  play  in  the UK.

Inxs  came  to  the  UK  to  record  the  rest  of  their  fourth  album  "The  Swing"  at  The Manor  studios  in  Oxford with  producer  Nick  Launay. Their  next  single  in  March  1984,  though  came  from  the  Rodgers  sessions."I  Send  A  Message" is immediately  notable  for  the  similarity  of  the  backing  track  to  Madonna's  Material  Girl ,another  Rodgers  production later  that  year. Otherwise  it's  uninteresting  but  made  number  3  in  Australia  and  77  in  the  US. The  album  was  released  a  month  later. It  consolidates  the  progress  made  on  the  previous  LP  and  the  next  single  "Burn  For  You"  has  another  catchy  chorus  even  though  the  song  is  a  bit  of  a  dog's  dinner. It  too  reached  number  3  in  Australia. Unsurprisingly  the  album  reached  number  one  there  but  it  also  became  their  first  album  to  chart  in  Canada  and  New Zealand.. In  thhe  US  it  reached  number  52. In  Australia  they  squeezed  out  a  fourth  single, "Dancing  on  The Jetty", an  inferior  cousin  to  "Original  Sin "  which  reached  number  39. The  standout  track  though  is  "Johnson's  Aeroplane"  , another  of  Andrew's  solo  compositions  which  protests  at  the  creep  of  suburbia  into  Australia's  farmland  with  a  superbly  doomy  string  and synth  arrangement.

After  appearing  at  the  Australian  leg  of  Live  Aid,  Inxs  went  into  the  studio  in  Sydney  with  Sex  Pistols  producer  Chris  Thomas  to  record  their  fifth  album "Listen  Like  Thieves". Towards  the  end  of  the  session  Thomas  said  he  couldn't  hear  a  big  hit  on  the  album  so  they   worked  up  "What  You  Need "  in  a  few  days. It  still  sounds  fairly  skeletal, not  much  more  than  a  sparse  funk  riff, growling  bass  and  deafening  drums  - Thomas's  brief  seems  to have  been  to  make  them  sound  as  loud  as  possible. Michael  wrote  some  fairly  simple lyrics  about staying  positive  and Kirk  added  some  melodic  colour  with  his  sax. It's  no great  shakes  as  a  song  but  Thomas  knew  what  he  was  doing. It  was  the  first  single  from  the  album  in  Australia  but  elsewhere   the  record  company  went  with  the  pleasant  guitar  rock  of  "This  Time"   (  number  81  in  the  US )  and  didn't  release  "What You  Need "  until  early  1986. It  exploded  in  the  US  reaching  number  5. Finally,  with  the  band  on  tour  here  - I  was  the  Student  Union  Executive  member  on  duty  the  night  they  played  Leeds - Britain  relented  and  gave  them  their  first  moderate  hit  here.
,

525 Hello Heart - These Dreams

Chart  entered  : 29  March  1986

Chart  peak  ; 62  ( 8  on  reissue  in  1988 )

Number  of  hits : 12

This  lot  had  enjoyed  moderate  success  in  the  album  charts  going  right  back  to  their  debut  album  but  it  took  them  over  a  decade  to  make  a  mark  on  the  singles  chart.

Their  story  began  way  back  in   the  early  seventies  ( the  exact  year  is  disputed )   when  Ann Wilson  , living  in  Seattle  but  born  in  California  in  1950 ,  joined   a  local  band  Hocus  Pocus ( formerly  White  Heart ) with  a  guitarist  called  Rob  Fisher. His  brother  Mike  was  a  Vietnam draft  dodger  exiled  in  Canada. Ann  met  him  during  a  clandestine  visit  to  his  family  and Followed  him  back  to  Canada  . Roger  and  bassist  Steve  Fossen  followed  suit  and  they  re-formed  the  band  there  as  Heart  with  Mike  as  manager. In  1974  Ann's  younger  sister  Nancy  joined. She  and  Ann   had  previously  had  their  own  harmony  outfit  The  Viewpoints. Nancy  was  an  accomplished acoustic  guitarist  and  joined  on  the  understanding  that  their  music  embraced  those  skills. She and  Roger  soon  became  an  item. The  band  had  hitherto  been  playing  crowd-pleasing  covers but  now  Nancy  and  Anne  set  about  writing  original  material  together.

Ann's  vocal  skills  attracted  the  attention  of  Mushroom  Records's  Mike  Flicker  who  recognised that  he  had  to  sign  the  whole   band   to  get  her  on  board. Their  first  single, in  Canada  only   in  April  1975 , " How  Deep It Goes " was  written  by  Ann,  seemingly  inspired  by  Mike  Fisher's comings  and  goings.  It's  a  melodic  folk  rock  number  with  Ann  showing  her  talent  as  a flautist  in  the  middle  eight   and  coda.  It  failed  to  make  the  charts.  In  June  they  tried  again  with  "Magic  Man"   a  Southern  boogie  tune  with  a  simple  but  effective  prodding  bass  line. Ann  sings  about  losing  her  virginity  with  total  vocal  assurance. It  reached  number  25  in  Canada.

The  band  then  released  their   first   LP  "Dreamboat  Annie"  in  August. The  album's  an  impressive  debut  showcasing  a  broad  musical  sweep  from  the  evocative  folk  rock  of  "Soul  of  the  Sea"  to  full  on  metal  with  "Sing  Child  Sing". It  also  demonstrate's  Ann's  astonishing  vocal  range  effortlessly  switching  from  Grace  Slick  pyrotechnics  to  Karen  Carpenter  warmth  and  able  to  stand  comparison  with  both  of  them. The  album's  title  does  hint  at  her  Achilles  heel, the  over-use  of  poetic  metaphors, particularly  for  sex , in  her  lyrics  which  sometimes  blunts  their  attack. Flicker  produced  with  help  from  his  former  school  mate  Howard  Leese  who  then  joined  the  band  as  an  additional  guitarist  and  keyboard  player. Session  drummer  Mike  Derosier  was  also  added  to  the  line  up  around  this  time.

The  third  single  from  the  album  " Crazy  On  You"  consolidated  their  success  in  Canada. It  gives  more  prominence  to  Nancy's  acoustic  guitar  work  which  sounds  strikingly  similar  to  Johnny  Marr's  on  Bigmouth  Strikes  Again   but  that's  overshadowed  by  an  astonishing  vocal  from  Ann  who  swoops  down  the  octaves  from  feline  heights  to  a  Sinead  O  Connor  style  rasp  with  supernatural  ease.

While  the  album  was  selling  steadily  in  Canada, Mushroom  were  working  hard  to  break  the  band  in  the  U.S. It  paid  off  as  "Crazy  On  You"  got  to  number  35  in  the  spring  of  1976  then  "Magic  Man"  made  number  9  in  the  summer.  A  fourth  single  "Dreamboat  Annie" a   gentle  folk  rock  number  got  to  number  42  in  the  autumn. The  album  eventually  reached  number  7  and  went  platinum. At  the  end  of  the  year  they  visited  Europe  and  appeared  on  The  Old  Grey  Whistle  Test. As  a  result   the  album  reached  36  in  the  UK.  

The  group  were  now  hot  property  and  began  to  chafe  at  the  contract  they  had  signed  with  Mushroom. Flicker, caught  between  two  stools , sided  with  the  band. The  head  of  the  label  Shelley  Siegel  then  enraged  the  band  by  putting  an  ad  in  Rolling  Stone  using  a  similar  bare-shouldered  shot  of  the  sisters  to  the  one  on  the  album cover  under  the  suggestive  headline  "It  Was  Only  Our  First  Time". The  band's  response  was  to  move  labels  to  Portrait  on  the  grounds  that  Flicker's  production  was  stipulated  in  the  contract  so  his  departure  made  it  null  and  void.

The  band  had  five  new  songs  nearly  complete  at  the  time. Siegel  released  these  along  with  a  previous  B-side  and  two  live  covers  recorded  in  Seattle  as  their  second  album  "Magazine "  in  April  1977.  With  a  new  album  ready  to  go  for  Portrait  the  band  obtained  an  injunction  forcing  its  withdrawal.

They  then  released  their  new  single  "Barracuda"  directly  fuelled   by  their  rage  at  the  lesbian  incest  suggestion.  Sarcastically  packaged  in  a  sleeve  which  placed  their  fully  clothed  head  and  shoulders  in  a  heart-shaped  frame, it's  much  harder  edged  than  their  previous  singles  with  a  galloping  dirty  bass  and  high  pitched  vocal  from  Anne  that  makes  them  sound  like  near-compatriots  Rush.  It  reached  number  11  in  the  US  and  was  a  hit  in  much  of  Europe  though  not  of  course  here.

The  album  "Little  Queen"  shortly  followed. "Barracuda"  apart,  it's  not  as  strong  a  set  as   their  debut  which  isn't  surprising  given  the  circumstances. The  guys  in  the  band  had  more  of a  hand  in  the  songwriting  which  probably  contributed  to  it  being  less  distinctive. The  lengthy closing  track  "Go  On  Cry"  suggests  that  the  Wilson  sisters  had  worn  their  copies  of  Dark Side  of  the  Moon  pretty  thin.  Nevertheless  the  album  performed  as  well  as  its  predecessor  ( number  34 in  the  UK ) and  the subsequent  singles , the  turgid  "Little  Queen"  and  sprightlier "Kick  It  Out "  made  the  US  chart  albeit   peaking  in  lowly  positions.

Heart  then  received  the  unwelcome  news  from  the  courts  that  they  still  owed  Mushroom another  album. Hence  they  went  into  the  studio  for  three  days  in  March  1978  to  polish  up "Magazine"  for  re-release  under  the  watchful  eye  of  a  court  official  to  ensure  no skullduggery took  place. Mushroom  trailed  it  with  a  single  release  of  "Heartless"  a  solid  enough  hard  rock number.  Despite  Heart's  unwillingness  to  promote   this  material , the  single  reached  number  24 and  the  album  got  to  number  17. The  follow  up  single  was  their  cover  of  "Without  You" which  failed  to  chart. Ann's  voice  is  well  up  to  the  task  but  it  still  seems  fairly  redundant .

The  band  were  eager  to  put  "Magazine"  behind  them  and  released  a  new  single  "Straight  On"  in  August  1978. It's  a  tight  rocker  with  a  disco  beat  and  some  funky  guitar  with  echoes  of  Love  Is  The  Drug  and  the  Stones's   near-contemporary  Miss  You.  It  restored  them  to  the  US  Top  20. The  album  "Dog  and  Butterfly ", on   which  the  Wilsons  were  aided  by  an  outside  songwriter  Sue  Ennis, was  split  between  rockers  on  Side  One  and  folksy  ballads  on  Side  Two  until  the  two  come  together  impressively  on  the  closer  "Mistral  Wind".  It's  generally  good  stuff  and  reached  17  in  the  US  though  it  didn't  chart  over  here. The  follow  up  single  was  the  title  track  from  the  more  subdued  second  side  and  sounds  like  the  girls  had  been  listening  to  Joan  Armatrading  recently  though  it's  a  decent  song  with  a  strong  chorus. It  peaked  at  number  51.

1979  was  something  of  an  annus  horriblis  for  the  band  , mirroring  Abba  as  both  the  central  relationships  came  to  grief. The  other  guys, knowing  which  side  their  bread  was  buttered  on  voted  to  eject   Roger  Fisher  from  the  band  making  his  brother's  position  untenable. The  band  contracted  to  a  five  piece  with  Howard  and  Nancy  sharing  lead   guitar  duties.

They  re-emerged  with  the  album  "Bebe  le  Strange"  at  the  beginning  of  1980. Fisher  has  a  co-writing  credit  on  the  title  track  but  is  otherwise  absent.  It's  a  muscular  record  with  a  New  Wave  influence  apparent  on  some  tracks  and  Ann  frequently  sounds  like  she's  trying  to  shatter  the  glass  in  the  control  booth  but  it's  a  bit  short  of  memorable  tunes  apart  from  the  first  single  "Even  It  Up"  where  the  "Tower  of  Power  horn players  add  extra  spice  to  the  girls'  hard  rocking  riposte  to  the  Fishers.  The  album  peaked  at  5  but , unlike  its  predecessors,  failed  to  achieve  platinum  status. The  single  peaked  at  number  33  in  the  US . The  next  one  "Raised  On  You"   a  Nancy  solo  composition  with  her  doing  the  lead  vocal   failed  to  chart. It  sounds  like  a  rocked-up  number  from  Tapestry   lacking  a  strong  melodic  hook.  The  title  track , a  drooling  homage  to  an  amazing  guitar  player  borrows   a  little  from  Zep's  Kashmir   but  has  a  dash  of  punk  abrasion  as  well. It  wasn't  really  single  material  and  it  too  fell  short  of  the charts.

Next  came  "Greatest  Hits /Live"  a  double  album  with  the  records  split  as  the  title  suggests  although  there  were  three  studio  tracks  interspersed  with  the  live  tracks,  a   competent  but  inspiring  cover  of  Aaron  Neville's  "Tell  It  Like  It  Is"  which  reached  number  8  when  released  as  a  single  and  two  studio  out takes which  should  have  remained  in  the  bin. The  album  reached  number  13  in  the  US  ( outside  North   America  it  was  condensed  into  a  single  LP   )  and  achieved  double  platinum  status. The  follow  up  single  was  a  live  cover  of  ( alas ) "Unchained  Melody"  which  proves  that  Ann could  do  the  business  on  stage  but  I  still  hate  the  song. It  stalled  at  number 83.

Eighteen  months  later  they  resurfaced  with  the  single  "This  Man  Is  Mine"  by  which  time  they'd  disposed  with  the  services  of  Flicker  and  shrunk  to  a  trio  as  the  long  time  rhythm  section  of  Fischer  and  DeRosio  had  left  after  completion  of   the  forthcoming  album. The  single  is  a  jazz  flavoured  pop  number  that  was  meant  to  be  a  tribute  to  The  Supremes  but  sounds  more  like  Manhattan  Transfer. It  reached  number  33. The  album  "Private  Audition "  has  a  few  hard  rock  morsels  for  their  fanbase  but  you  get  the  sense  that's  not  where  their  heads  were  at  anymore  with  diversions  into  jazz  and  overblown  balladry. It  peaked  at  25  continuing  their  downward  trajectory  although  for  no  immediately  apparent  reason, it  got  them  back  in  the  UK  charts  at  number  77. The  follow  up  single  "Bright  Light  Girl"  a  12  bar  boogie  tune  worthy  of  Status  Quo  didn't  chart.

They  replaced  the departing  members  with  Mark  Andes  on  bass  and  Denny  Carmassi  on  drums, both  of  whom  had  considerable  musical  pedigrees. Mark  had  been with  Canned  Heat  in  their  early  days  but  was  best  known  as  a  founding  member  of  prog  rockers  Spirit. He  played  on  their  first  four  albums  which  all  charted  in  the  US   ( only  his  final  LP  with  the  band  "Twelve  Dreams  of  Sardonicus"  in  1970, charted  in  the  UK )  and  their  biggest  US  hit  single  "I  Got  A  Line  On  You"  in  1968. Mark  and  percussionist  Jay  Ferguson  left  the  group  acrimoniously  in  1970  and  formed  Jo  Jo  Gunne. Mark  played  on  their  eponymous  debut  which  sold  well  in  the  US  and  contained  "Run  Run  Run"  an  infectious  boogie  tune  which  reached  number  6  in  the  UK  in  1972  making  them  classic  one  hit  wonders. Mark  quit  the  group  shortly  afterwards  due  to  an  argument.  He  dropped  out  of  the  music  scene  for  a  couple  of  years  before  being  recruited  into  the  country  rock  band  Firefall. Although  they  never meant  anything  in  the  UK , Firefall  had  a  string  of  hit  singles  in  the  US. Their  most  successful  were  "You  Are  The  Woman"  and  "Just  Remember  I  Love  You" in  1976  and  1977  respectively   which  are  pleasant  and  tuneful  but  somewhat  anaemic,  like  a  blanded-out  America . Mark  left  the  group  in  1980  following  a  prolonged  period  of  contractual  wrangles  and  dealing  with  drummer  Michael  Clarke's  alcoholism.  He  settled  into  session  work  until  the  Wilsons  came  calling.

Denny  was  from  San  Francisco   and  was  born  into  a  family  of  drummers. His  first  recorded  band  was  the  blues  rock  outfit  Sweet  Linda  Devine   who  released  an  eponymous  album  in  1970  before   splitting  up. Three  years  later  he  came  to  prominence  in  the  hard  rock  band  Montrose . Montrose  are  chiefly  remembered  as  the  launching  pad  for  vocalist  Sammy  Hagar  and   released  four  albums  between  1973  and  1976  which  were  moderately  successful  in  the  U.S.  charts  (  their  eponymous  debut  spent  a  single  week  in  the  UK  charts  in  1974  at  number  43 ) .   After  a  combustible  history  which  saw  frequent  line  up  changes  Montrose  imploded  in  1976  after  which  Denny  became  a  session  drummer  most  frequently  used  by  the  solo  Hagar  and  Montrose  offshoot  Gamma.

If  this  injection  of  new blood  re-invigorated  them,  it  wasn't  apparent  on  1983's  tepid  "Passionworks" . The  encroachment  of  eighties  production  values  ( c/o  Keith  Olsen  )   can't  disguise  that  this  is  an  uninspiring  collection  of  songs. The  lead  single  "How  Can  I  Refuse "  is  a  decent  enough  slice  of  Bryan  Adams  mainstream  rock  and  reached  number  44.  The  follow  up  "Allies "  was  written  by  Jonathan  Cain  of  Journey  and  is  a  ponderous  power  ballad  which  reached  number  83.  The  album  reached  number   39.

"Allies "  was  their  last  release  on  Epic  (  which  had  absorbed  Portrait ). Relations  had  deteriorated  and  the  band  accused  the  label  of  not  promoting  their  last  two  albums  effectively. There  may  have  been  some  truth  in  that  but  for  their  next  album  on  Capitol  it  was  notable  that  all  the  singles  were  written  wholly  or  partly  by  people  outside  the  band.  How  willingly  the  Wilsons  conceded  that  they couldn't  write  the  big  hit  singles   to  restore  them  to  their  former  level  would  be  interesting  to  know.  They  also  agreed  to  an  image  makeover  which  had  them  looking  like  New  Romantics  on  their  next  few  releases.  

Their  first  single  for  Capitol  "What  About Love"  came  out  in  June  1985 . Written  by  Bryan  Adams's  songwriting  partner  Jim  Vallance  and  two  other  blokes  it's  a  vacuous  but  effective  piece  of  contemporary  AOR   bombast  with  Ann  giving  it  her  usual  gusto. The  video  makes  you  wince  now  with  the  girls  wandering  on  to  what  looks  like  the  same  set  as  Duran  Duran's  Wild  Boys  video,  all  big  hair  and  low  cut  bodices . Ann's  ridiculous  shoulder  pads  unfortunately  emphasise  that  she  was  piling  on  the  pounds. Still  it  showed  a  shrewd  knowledge  of  what  was  selling  and  reached  number  10  in  the  US. It  got  to  number  14  in  the  UK   on  re-release  in  1988.

The  album , simply  titled  "Heart"  was  released  a  month  later.  Sidelined  as  writers  with  most  of  their  compositions   pushed  out  to  Side  Two, the  band  nevertheless  seem  re-invigorated   and  eager  to  embrace  the  new  realities. There's  not  a  trace  of  their  previous  folk  rock  leanings  to  be  heard . The   US  public  responded  by  taking  it  all  the  way  to  the  top  of  the   charts  outselling  all  their  previous  LPs  by  some  distance. In  the  UK  it  had  a  strange  chart  career  with  five  false  starts  before  Capitol  re-promoted  it  in  the  absence  of  new  product  in  1988  and  it  got  as  high  as  number  19.

The  next  single  "Never"   was  written  by  the  girls  in  conjunction  with  Holly  Knight  and  Greg  Bloch   and  is  in  a  pretty  similar  vein  to  the  previous  single. However  it  did  even  better  and  peaked  at  number  four, aided  by  a  video  which  focuses  strongly  on  Nancy  and  her  impressive  cleavage.

The  third  single  selected  was  "These  Dreams" . Written  by  Martin  Page  and  Elton  John  lyricist  Bernie  Taupin  it  was  first  offered  to  Stevie  Nicks  but  she  didn't  like  it. It's  a  soft-focused  pop  track  rather  than  a  rock  song  and  being  less  demanding  vocally  it  was  given  to  Nancy  to  do  the  lead  vocal  despite  a  throat  infection  making  her  sound  a  little  raspy. It's  pretty  much  all  synth  making  Nancy's  guitar  hero  shapes   in  the  video  look   rather  silly.  The  lyric  about  a  woman's  preference  for  fantasy  is  heavy-handed  in  places  as  you'd  expect  from  Taupin   although  they  help  give  the  illusion  of  depth  to  a  fairly  slight  song. Despite  being  third  choice  single  from  a  successful  album  it  became  their  first  chart-topping  single  in  the  US  and  of  course  finally  broke  their  duck  here.

524 Hello Maxi Priest - Strollin' On

Chart  entered :  29  March  1986

Chart  peak : 32

Number  of  hits : 20

Strictly  speaking ,Maxi  is  the  first  reggae  solo  performer  to  qualify  here.

He  was  born  Max  Elliott  in  London  in  1951. His  parents  were  Jamaican  and  had  nine children. His  cousin  Jacob  Miller  was  front  man  of  Inner  Circle. He  worked  for  reggae  sound systems  in  London  and  soon  began  performing  himself   standing  out  as  a  singer  rather  than toaster. Initially  he  had  a  named  backing  band  Caution  and  early  releases  were  credited  to  "Maxi  Priest  and  Caution" .

Their  first  single in  1984  was  an  EP  split  with  Papa  Levi  on  an  independent  label. Maxi's  two  tracks  were  "Sensi"  and  "Love  In  The  Ghetto". The  former  is  a  tribute  to  the  weed  and  unlikely  to  appeal  to  the  unconverted  but  "Love  In  The  Ghetto"  already  shows  a  keen  ear  for  melody  in  its  mournful  lilt although  the  song  is  a bit  meandering. I  can  hardly  make  out  a  word  on  the  follow-up "Throw  My  Corn"  but  it  ambles  along  quite  pleasantly  with  some  nice  horn  work.

The  following  year  Maxi  signed  with  10  Records  and  started  working  with  producer  Paul  Robinson. They  wrote  the  next  single  "Should  I  ( Put  My  Trust  In  You )"  which  is  a  clean   and  tidy  lover's  rock  number  that  might  have  been  a  hit  with  some  airplay.  The  same  goes  for  "Dancing  Mood"  which  sounds  more  like  The  Wailers  than  hitherto.  All  three  singles  , plus  "Sensi"  from  the  EP  were  included  on  Maxi's  first  LP  "You're  Safe ".  By  the  time   of  "Dancing  Mood"'s  release  as  a  single  Caution  were  no  longer  credited.

"Strollin  On"  was  the  lead  single  for  the  next  LP. It's  an  infectious , romantic  pop  reggae  number  about  the  joys  of  walking  with  your  baby,  filled  with  springtime  vim.  An  insistent  poppy  synth  riff  helps  it  along   There's  not  much  substance  to  it  , sounding  like  one  long  chorus,  but  it  was  infectious  enough  to  bypass  Radio  One  - I  don't  remember  hearing  it  at  the  time -  and  give  him  his  first  hit.

523 Hello Janet Jackson - What Have You Done For Me Lately ?

Chart  entered :  22  March  1986

Chart  peak : 3

Number  of  hits : 41


Here  we  have  our  third  girl  in  a  row  and  a  controversial  one. I  got  a  lot  of  stick  on  Popular  for  trashing  her  as  a  weak-voiced  dancer  who  sells  her  name  and  image  to  the  top  producers  of  the  moment  but  I'm  still  inclined  to  stick  by  that.

Janet  was  born  in  1966  making  her  the  youngest  of  the  Jackson  clan. She  started  out  as  a  teenaged  actress  with  roles  in  Diff'rent  Strokes  and  one  season  of  Fame   but  her  father  arranged  a  record  deal  for  her  with  A &  M   in  1982  when  she  was  16. Her  first  single  that  summer  was  "Young  Love " a  completely  unexceptional  disco  number  written  by  Rene  Moore  and  Angela  Wimbush  that  fails  to  stand  out  from  older  contemporaries  like   Evelyn  King  or  Sharon  Redd.  She  appeared  on  Soul  Train  looking  cute  and  chubby  but  professional. It  reached  64  in  the  US  but  did  nothing  here.

Her  debut  album  "Janet  Jackson"  came  out  in  September  1982  to  underwhelming  reviews  although  it  reached  number  63 in  the  US.  The  follow-up  single  "Come  Give  Your  Love  To  Me"  is  interesting  only  in  having  overtly  rock  elements  a  year  before  her  brother's  Beat  It  , the  song  itself  is  a  tuneless  bore. It  reached  number  58.  The  third  single  "Say  You  Do"  credits  Moore  and  Wimbush  but  it's  a  carbon  copy  of  big  brother's  Don't  Stop  Till  You  Get  Enough  with  Janet  trying  to  sound  as  much  like  him  as  possible ; I  guess  he  wasn't  going  to  sue  her. That  and  a  fourth  single  , the  upfront  electro  disco  of  "Don't  Mess  Up  A  Good  Thing " ( the  pick  of  the  four )  failed  to  make  the  chart.

The  lead  single  for  her  next  album  "Don't  Stand  Another  Chance"  came  out  in  August  1984. It  was  written  by  her  brother  Marlon  ( who  also  produced ) and  synth  player  John  Barnes. Her  brothers  provide  backing  vocals  on  the  track. Unsurprisingly,   it  parades  the  same  muscular   rock /funk  hybrid  sound  as  their  contemporaneous  Victory  album  but  it's  rubbish, trying  to  bludgeon  its  way  into  your  consciousness  by  hammering  the  title  home  with  repetition.

The  album  "Dream  Street"  came  out  shortly  afterwards. Janet's  father-manager  Joe  hedged  his  bets  by  splitting  writing / production  three  ways  between  Marlon, Prince  acolyte  Jesse  Johnson  and  famed  disco  duo  Giorgio  Moroder  and  Pete  Bellotte. The  latter  pair  produced  the  mechanical  "duet"   "Two  To  The  Power  of  Love  " with  Cliff  Richard   whose  presence  made  it  the  obvious  choice  for  lead  single  in  the  UK. An  utterly  generic  synth-based  power  ballad  it  bubbled  under  but  failed  to  make  the  Top  75.  The  other  singles  were Johnson's  "Fast  Girls "  a  competent  imitation  of  his  former  master  and  the   Italians'  title  track , a  moody  synth  pop  number  about  the  perils  of  fame-chasing  in  Hollywood  that  would  be  quite  good  if  Janet  had  a  voice  capable  of  expressing  any  emotion  other  than  a  child's  desire  for  sweeties.  The  release  of  the  album  coincided  with  her  stint  on  Fame   but  even  generous  exposure  on  the  programme  couldn't  stop  it  falling  well  short  of  the  Top  100  and  she  looked  set  for  a  mediocre  career  in  her  brother's  shadow,


Things  changed  dramatically  that  same  year  when  Janet  eloped  with  singer  James  DeBarge  and  got  married. DeBarge  had  drug  problems  and  they  were  together  for  less  than  a  year  but  the  experience  changed  her  whole  perspective. She  cut  the  umbilical  cord  and  dispensed  with  her  family's  services  altogether.  She  put  herself  in  the  hands  of  A  & M's  John  McClain  who  engaged  Jimmy "Jam"  Harris  and  Terry  Lewis  to  produce  her  next  album. They  were  formerly  with  The  Time  and  had  already  enjoyed  success  writing  and  producing  for  the  S.O.S. Band.

"What  Have  You  Done  For  Me  Lately"   was  the  lead  single, released  at  the  beginning  of  1986. It  was  originally  written  for  a  different  singer  but  Janet  claimed  it  and  re-wrote  the  lyrics  to  convey  a  message  to  DeBarge. They  are  a  bit  clumsy  but  get  a  pro-feminist  message  across  that  men  can't  settle  into  lazy  and  neglectful  self-indulgence  once  married. The  unfunky  title  is  punched  out  in  a  staccato  chorus. Musically , it  of  course  owes  a  lot  to  Prince  with  a  brutalist  beat  , taut  rhythm  and  sparse  keyboard  motifs. Jam  and  Lewis   couldn't  turn  base  metal  into  gold  and  Janet's  vocal  lines  are  pinned  to  the  bass  line  and  kept  low  in  the  mix. That  didn't  stop  it  being  an  enormous  hit , reaching  number  4  in  the  US .

522 Hello Samantha Fox - Touch Me ( I Want Your Body )

Chart  entered : 22  March  1986

Chart  peak : 3

Number  of  hits : 13

I  don't  suppose  Samantha  will  ever  be  taken  seriously  as  a  musical  artist  but  scoring  over  a  dozen  hits  is  nothing  to  be  scorned.

Samantha  was  born  in  1966   in  the  East  End   to  a  market  trader  and  obscure  actress. She  herself  attended  the  Anna  Scher  Theatre  School. In  1982  her  mother  sent  some  lingerie  photos  of  her  to  an  amateur  modelling  competition  run  by  The  Sunday  People . She  was  the  runner-up  but  The  Sun  still  invited  her  to  pose  for  Page  3. Her  parents  gave  consent  for  her  to  pose  topless  and  she  first  appeared  in  the  paper  in  February  1983  when  she  was  16  -this  would  all  be  illegal  now  of  course. Samantha  quickly  became  popular  with  their "readership"  and  she  was  given  a  four  year  modelling  contract.

Samantha  had  musical  ambitions  as  well  and  got  a  deal  with  Lamborghini  Records. She  released  her  first  single  under  the  name  S.F.X.  in  October  1983.  "Rockin  With  My  Radio"  is  a  tinny  Europop  number  written  by  some  French  guys  on  which  Samantha  sounds  like  a  10  year  old  , getting  shriller  with  each  line. She  recorded  a  couple  of  other  tracks  with  them  "Aim  To  Win "  and  "Holding" which  were  released  as  a  single  in  Scandinavia. The  former  which  had  Bruce  Woolley  and  Theresa  Bazaar  among  its  co-writers  is  a  real  dogs  dinner  with  attractive  and  ugly  bits hopelessly  intertwined. Both  were  released  in  the  UK   after  her  success  with  this  one  but  rightly  ignored.

By  1986  Samantha  was  close  to  fulfilling  her  contract  and  decided  to  have   another  tilt  at  pop  stardom. She  was  now  considerably  more  famous (  and  wealthy )  than  last  time  around  and  had  no  difficulty  getting  a  deal  with  Jive.  "Touch  Me  ( I  Want  Your  Body ) "  was  written  by  Mark  Shreeve, John  Astrop  and  Pete  Q  Harris  none  of  whom  had  much  of  a  track  record  but  they  came  up  with  a  winner  here. That  may  be  because  both  musically  and  lyrically  it's  pretty  close  to  Laura  Branigan's  Self  Control  from  a  couple  of  years  earlier,  which  like  this  one, was  a  monster  hit  across  Europe.  Unlike  Laura,  Sam  only  had  a  thin  voice  but  it  was  serviceable  , the  closest  comparison  being  Kim  Wilde.  The  general  reception  to  the  record  was  "this  isn't  as  bad  as  we  thought  it  was  going  to  be".  It  remains  Samantha's  biggest  hit.

521 Hello Sinitta - So Macho / Cruising

Chart  entered : 8  March  1986

Chart  peak : 2  ( on  re-entry  after  originally  peaking  at  47 )

Number  of  hits  : 12

A  dark  day  for  any  historian  of  the  charts  as  the  Prince  of  Darkness  starts  making  his presence  felt  here.

These  biographical  notes  on  Sinitta  should  be  treated  with  caution  as  the  various  accounts  of  her  background  and  rise  to  fame  don't  always  add  up.  She  was  one  of   twin  sisters  born  to  aspiring  Canadian  singer  and  actress  Miquel  Brown  in  1963. Besides  Brown  her  surname  has  been  given  as  Malone  and  Renet   at  various  times  but  Sinitta  is  apparently  her  real  Christian  name. Her  mother  had  small  roles  in  Rollerball  and  Superman   but  found  most  work   in   London's  West  End  so  the  family  relocated  to  the  UK  where  the  young  Sinitta  attended  ballet  and  drama schools.

No  doubt  with  her  mother's  help,  she  started  finding  work  in  1981  appearing  in  productions of   The  Wiz  and  Hair  and  had  a  small  role  in  the  film  Shock  Treatment  , Richard  O  Brien's little-regarded   follow-up  to  The  Rocky  Horror  Show . In  1982  she  appeared  as  a  dancer  with Imagination  on  The  Tube  though  she  did  little  more  than  wrap  herself  around  singers  Leee and  Ashley  in  a  skimpy  dress.

The  following  year  she  appeared  in  the  video  for  Forrest's  Rock  The  Boat  although  she  hadn't  been  involved  in  the  recording. She  got  her  own  first  recording  chance  with  Magnet  offshoot  Midas  Records  who  released  "Never  Too  Late"  a  leaden, forgettable  disco  number  in  September  that  year.  Sinitta  then  took  the  Eurovision  route   with  "Imagination"  written  by  veterans  Tony  Hiller  and  Paul  Curtis. The  song  is  all  blustery  production  and  no  tune ,  made  worse  by  Sinitta's  live  vocal  when  she  performed   it  too  energetically  on  Wogan  for  the  British  heats  . It  came  fourth.

 Sinitta  then  joined  racy  dance  troupe  Hot  Gossip  after  persistent  pestering  of  choreographer  Arlene  Phillips. This  broke  the  previous  demarcation  in  the  group between  black  men  and  white  women. Phillips  may  have  thought  what  the  heck  as  they  were  clearly  on  the  slide by  then, lacking  a  regular  TV  slot  since  Kenny  Everett's  switch  to  the  BBC  and  consistently  failing  to  score  a  follow-up  hit  to  1978's  ( I  Lost  My  Heart  To  A  ) Starship  Trooper .

They  did  have  one  last  card  to  play  though. One  of  their  former  dancers  Ian  Burton  had  gone  into  talent  management  and  gave  them  a  leg  up  by  signing  them  to  Fanfare,  a  new  label  he'd  set  up  with  his  friend, a  young  record  company hack  by  the  name  of  Simon  Cowell. Neither  of  the  two  singles  they  recorded  for  Fanfare  "Don't  Beat  Around  The  Bush"  and  "Break  Me  Into  Little  Pieces"   - both  run  of  the  mill  dated  synth  pop  -  made  any  impression  but  their  newest  recruit  had  caught  the  eye  of  Mr  Cowell.

Forget  any  rubbish  you  might  have  read  about  Cowell  being  a  potential  sex  offender  for  dating  a  14  year  old.  That  all  springs  from  Sinitta's  persistent  dishonesty  about  her  age ; she  was  either  19  or  20  when  they  met. Hot  Gossip  were  clearly  the  deadest  of  horses but  he  felt  she  had  solo  potential  particularly  as  she  was  attracting  attention  for  her  topless  appearances  in  Mutiny  with  David  Essex   with  whom  she  had  an  affair  ( at  least  she  says  she  did ).

Her  mother  had  just  scored  a  couple  of  minor  hits  working  with  producer  Ian  Levine  for  the Hi-NRG  scene  so  that  seemed  the  obvious  route  to  take. Cowell  turned  to  writer  producer George  Hargreaves  who  wrote  and  co-produced  her  first  single  for  the  label  "Cruising"  in February  1985  with  its  obvious  reference  back  to  the  Al  Pacino  film  of  the  same  name where  he's  an  undercover  cop  in  the  gay  club  scene.  It's  a  top  class  Hi-NRG  record  along the  lines of  Hazell  Dean's  Searchin' , although  Sinitta's  not  as  strong  a  singer  as  Hazell,  with a killer  song  atop  the  pounding  electronics.

It  made  an  impression  in  the  gay  clubs  but  did  not  chart.  It  was  released  again  a  year  later with  "So  Macho "  on  the  flip.  I've  trusted  Guinness  that  at  some  point  it  was  made  a  double  A-side  but  the  sleeve  and  initial  pressings  clearly  indicate  "Cruising"  was  only  a  B-side   when  the  record  was  first  released.  "So  Macho"  was  written  by  the  same  guy  and  even  putting  aside  the  dubious  lyrical  conceit  of  having  a  black  girl  singing  of  needing  an  Aryan  lover - "he;s  got  to  have  big  blue  eyes ", it's  not  as  well-crafted  a  song  as  "Cruising"  nor  does  the  backing  track  have  the  same  attack. "So  Macho"  is  aimed  at  the  pop  charts  rather  than  the  clubs   but   it  worked  in  both. It  originally  peaked  at  47   but  after  a  few  weeks  out  of  the  chart . club  play  got  it  back  in  and  this  time  it  shot  to  number  2  though  what  clubbers  made  of  Sinitta  giving  the  limp  wrist  gesture  while  performing  it  on  Top  of  the  Pops  isn't  difficult  to  imagine.

520 Hello The Blow Monkeys - Digging Your Scene

Chart  entered : 1  March  1986

Chart  peak  : 12

Number  of  hits  : 10

These  lot  were  no  overnight  sensations  and  were  pretty  lucky  to  still  be  putting  out  singles  on  RCA  after  five  previous  flops.

The  Blow  Monkeys  were  founded  in  1981  when   singer  Robert  Howard   ( born  Haddington  1961  )  returned  to  Scotland  after  spending  his  teenage  years  in  Australia. He  recruited  the  rest  of  the  band  from  an  ad  in  Melody  Maker , picking  up  bassist  Mick  Anker , saxophonist  Neville  Henry  and  drummer  Tony  Kiley.  They  were  all  born  within  six  months  of  each  other  and  had  no  previous  bands  of  note. With  Robert  playing  guitar  and  keyboards  as   well  as  writing  the  songs  ( with  occasional  assistance  from  Mick )  he  was  very  clearly, the  main  man.

In  1982  they  scraped  enough  money  together  to  issue  their  first  single  "Live  Today  Love Tomorrow" on  the  small  Parasol  label. With  a  murky  production  it  sounds  very  early  80s indie with  a  marked  similarity  to  23  Skidoo's  debut  single  "Ethics". Robert's  singing  voice  sounds very  nasal  and  weedy  but  there  is  something  there  in  the  song  with  a  pre-Morrissey questioning  of  gender  roles  and  a  yearning  chorus  which  hits  home  once  one  of  the  other guys  starts  harmonising  with  him. On  the  sleeve  Robert  referred  to  himself  as  "Dr  Robert " in a  jokey  Beatles  reference  but  the  name  stuck.

The  single  made  few  waves  but  when  the  band  got  a  residency  at  a  club  in  West  Hampstead  the  majors  took  an  interest  and  they  signed  for  RCA  in  1983.

The  band  released  four singles  from  their  debut  LP  "Limping  for  a  Generation".  The  first  one "Go  Public"  from  March  1984  sounds  like  a  hangover  from  their  indie  days  merging  lurching  Bunnymen  rock  in  the  verses  with  Factory  funk  tunelessness  in  what  I  guess  to  be  the  chorus.  It's  rubbish  frankly  and  unsurprisingly  it  was  left  off  their  1989  compilation. Next  came  "The  Man  From  Russia"  in  June  , one  of  the  songs  where  Mick  gets  a  co-writer's  credit. It's  much  more  indicative  of  what  was  to  come  with  a  lush  production  from Peter  Wilson  emphasising  Neville's  horn  work  to  the extent  it  reminds  you  of  Dexy's. Robert was  a  massive  T  Rex  fan  and  you  can  hear  perhaps  traces  of  the  Bolan  quaver  in  his sonorous  voice  although  to  me  he  sounds  more  like  Pete  Burns. The  song  itself  is  fairly slight  although  the  snake  charmer's  sax  solo  in  the  middle  eight  startles, Robert  not  being afraid  to  mix  and  match  his  influences  in  surprising  ways.

Therefore  the  third  single  "Atomic  Lullaby"  in  October  1984  is  an  oblique  anti-nuclear   ditty set  to  a  bossa  nova  rhythm   which  suddenly  gallops  into  military  tattooing  and  a  Stax  rush of  horns  in  the  middle  eight. The  band  made  their  first  video  for  this  one  in  which  Robert seems  to  be  auditioning  for  a  Stars  In  Their  Eyes  performance  as  Morrissey   while  Mick eternally  looks  a  pillock  in  his  bowler  hat / comedy  sideburns  combo.

There's  a  clear  Smiths  influence  on  the  fourth  single  "Wildflower "  which  sounds  like  Johnny Marr is  guesting  on  guitar  and  has  lines  like  "You  can  bury  me  alive  and  jump  on  my head". By  contrast  the  "Do  Do  Do"  chorus  is  clearly  influenced  by  Walk  On  The  Wild  Side .  It's not a  particularly  memorable  song  but  scores  over  its  predecessors  in  having  more  than  one verse . Nevertheless  the  accusation  of  "style  over  substance "  could  fairly  be  laid  at  their  door at this  point. Neither  the  album  nor  the  singles  charted  and  RCA  could  have  been  forgiven  for doubting  the  wisdom  of  their  investment  at  this  point.

They  were  given  the  breathing  space   to  continue  and  released  a  new  single  "Forbidden  Fruit "  in  September  1985.  This  ode  to  an  unattainable  girl  is  even  more  Smithsian  ( plus  a  touch  of  Lloyd  Cole  in  the  vocals ) with  lashings  of  brass  to  try  and  disguise  the  underlying  similarity  to  How  Soon  Is  Now  ?  It's  a  good  single  in  a  borrowed  sort  of  way.

At  long  last   the  group  hauled  themselves  out  of  obscurity  with  this  one  which  always  reminds  me  of  the  harsh  winter  of  1986.  "Digging  Your  Scene"  was  written  in  response  to  Donna  Summer's  notorious  remark  about  AIDS  being  divine  punishment  and  although  not  gay  himself,  Robert  wanted  to  express  his  admiration  for  the  gay  club  scene.  The  music  is  a  blend  of  pop, funk  and  jazz, in  a  similar  vein  to  The  Style  Council  though  arguably  smoother  than  they  ever  managed.  With  Neville's  jazzy  horn  work, strings  and  soulful  backing  vocals  complimenting  Robert's  feline  vocal  it's  a  very  lush  sound  and  the  tune's  strong  enough  to  support  the  structure. They  would  improve  on  its  chart  position  a  year  later with  a  pretty  similar  sounding  song  but  this  is  the  one  people  remember.